Escaping the safety net of silence

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Reblogged from Elle:

escaping the safety net of silence

http://media.washtimes.com/media/community/photos/blog/entries/2011/11/27/silence-640_s640x427.jpg?7

Silence was such a helpful skill to master.

To literally not let a word escape from these lips for at least one school year at the ages of 4-5 (don’t know how long it was exactly, only what was written in records that have been accessed). That is not normal, and it certainly wasn’tmanipulative (which is how an educational psychologist described it).

Fearing making a sound; if those little girls had spoken, it would have reinforced their shame for existing. That fear is held by so many of us, even now. “Shut up” “you always sound so stupid” “you never make sense” are just some of the many statements that are repeated, internally pretty much always.

But why should those little girls still be so frozen in silence? Why shouldn’t they cry their tears out loud? Why shouldn’t they tell? Why shouldn’t someone hear them?
Why are we all still so afraid of hearing our own voices? Why are we so afraid of anyone else hearing?

Silence can be safe, it can also be pretty dangerous and we need to stop holding onto silence so tightly.

*just writing this has triggered the “don’t ever tell” monologue.

Thank you for reading.

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