The sound of sneezing in public

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They say you shouldn’t air your dirty laundry in public. Some also say that the climate crisis is unreal, that evolution never happened and that we should not interfere when we know something is wrong . I don’t know how many times I’ve heard: Why didn’t anyone DO something? When they saw the bruises? When the dentist had to remove rotten teeth? When the child fell asleep at school and smelled of alcohol?

Who should we believe? What should be our major concern? When is alarm justified, and when should we just let those families figure it out for themselves?

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3 thoughts on “The sound of sneezing in public

    Andy said:
    September 5, 2014 at 13:32

    Just my opinion. When to become involved in anything simply depends on judging what particular boundaries are being broken and when broken, who gets involved or hurt. If a family next door is outside arguing, that is their challenge. If they are arguing and someone pulls a weapon or pulls a weapon and directs it at you or a child in their family, that is a clear sign, you are involved. Phone in hand, call the authorities. That sounds like an easy solution. When people bring their dirty laundry into the public and violence is clearly involved, this makes it open game. The situations I worry about are a little different. 1 year ago, the area I live was on the national news because…
    A young adult man. A drug addict. A thief to support this habit. He as going to jail and simply could not cope. He calls the police from his home and explains that he wants to end his life. The most disturbing fact is that in the background you can hear the gentle voice of his grandmother and girlfriend asking him to put the gun down. 20 mins later, not only is he dead, he kills 5 people in the house, including two children. Although I don’t believe that violence is the answer and that trying to simply appeal to this mans feelings might have been the start, in such cases, cleaning house to save some lives and asking question later could have been more of a successful attempt at saving lives. If someone wants to kill themselves, that is sad; however, that is their life they are personally justifying to end because of a bad place they are in, not the same place of innocent children and other caring adults. I have personal experience with helping a young adult through crisis for over 6 years. I became involved in helping by supporting them through clinical counseling financially, assisted with job related challenges, offered my time in the court systems, offered personal time, encouraged, taught him the importance of good communication about his choices. In the end, this person still chose to take advantage of the family, lay low, not work, not go to school. Casual drug use was and is involved. When it was clear that he was not putting his full effort into good choices and that he was going to continue to verbally abuse some of our family, Verbally and physically, I said a clear NO to his challenges. It was not until I told everyone else, including him, that there is a standard in place to which he is either going to have to live buy under the families roof or time to go that everyone starting getting on board. To some, I had to be the bad guy for a while for sticking my neck out and that was ok. If this path is what changes his path of choices in a more positive direction, good. For him to be uncomfortable because of his lack of respect for himself and others in the family, I can live with him not liking me for a while. To be healthy, at some point, you simply have to break free of other peoples bad choices and bad behavior instead of trying to own what they feel and do. Who knows, you might assist in helping to save more lives than just his or hers.

      mirrorgirl responded:
      September 5, 2014 at 16:00

      A complex theme with no clear right or wrong answers. The discussion is important, and you give some views that must be respected and thought about. Violence and death are probably the toughest topics to discuss, but also very important. Silence helps little. Right now I’m reading a book about criminals in prison, and we must remember that if they only meet hate, they have no motivation to change. I think interfering must be evaluated in each and every case, but people regret more what they didn’t do, then what they did in cases like this. Knowing you could have said something, but didn’t, is hard to live with.

      I agree that having a tea party is not the best option in a crisis, like already mentioned we must consider every case for itself. There are no rules that applies to every situation, and often intuition (if you have a good one) can be a viable way to choose the right solution for a problem. Thanks for sharing your story and ideas!

        Andy said:
        September 7, 2014 at 03:16

        You are welcome. I agree.

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