The uncontrollable 3-year old inside 

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She was an unpredictable beautiful 20 year-old girl. Fire within her, that was often quenched by rain from thunderous clouds. Others didn’t know how to be with her, as it felt like playing Russian roulette. They wanted to be there, to love her. But when her inner 3-year-old awoke, they ran away in fear. 

She sang:

You can see my heart beating. You can see it through my chest. That I’m terrified, know that I must pass this test. 
So just pull the trigger, as my life flashes before my eyes. I’m wondering, will I ever see another sunrise? 

But it’s too late to think of the value of my life.

Warm hands, touches she never would feel again. She couldn’t think, as thoughts were drowned by memories she rather keep away. She tried to do the right thing, but 3-years-olds haven’t learned what the right thing is yet. 

She felt like little Colette, singing alone in her castle in the clouds. 

In a castle where no one could reach her.  


2 thoughts on “The uncontrollable 3-year old inside 

    awax1217 said:
    August 10, 2015 at 12:34

    When I moved to Winter Haven I was a sub teacher and did a class in the seventh grade. One young man skipped class and went home. He joined a few friends and they passed the morning by drinking and playing Russian Roulette. He lost. I went to his funeral. We play with death as if it can not happen and then we realize it can. We are foolish. Life is short enough and we do not need to hasten the inevitable.
    Live and breathe and delight in the world for life can be too deep and we can drown in the morbid sea which is not tranquil but dark and foreboding.

    Andi said:
    August 10, 2015 at 13:36

    I know that cloud well. And I relate to the uncontrollable 3 year old who dreams of it. Beautiful, sad post.

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