Three nights with little sleep is hard. This is the third night I`ve woken up early, trying in vain to catch more hours of blissful nothingness. Luckily my boss is very understanding, so I can call work in some hours and tell them I must be home. The main reason for my unstable sleep, is probably my pregnancy. My baby is now 7 months, and he is growing faster and faster. My stomach is finally getting bigger, but still you don`t always see there is a baby in there if I wear baggy clothes.
I have still not told many of my clients about my pregnancy, but must do so the following weeks. Maternity leave will start the first week of march, so there is really not much time. Luckily the next weeks won`t be too busy, since my client list has shrunk the last couple of months. I also work with a different group of clients now, where it isn`t so much therapeutic conversations we offer, but more practical and social help. I work more together with nurses and other health professionals, so we are more helpers, which means that my role is more relaxing, sometimes being a coordinator rather than a therapist.
I have to start planning my return to work soon. I am not completely sure if I should go back to my former position or if I should ask if I can go back to working with trauma. I will be back in February, and know it will be challenging to start working again, since the baby is only 8 months old and still will need breast-feeding during the night. That would mean that going back to work in the team I`m in now, could make the transition back to work, more manageable. Starting to work with weekly clients again, having a long list of people I have to see, will probably be harder. I will discuss this with my current boss soon, and that will probably help me figure out what to do.
But that is not what I´m thinking about the most at the moment. In two months time, a little baby will be in my life. He will probably drive me insane, and it will be hard. But I can`t wait anyway. I know that when you love somebody, the good moments means so much that the bad is forgotten after a while. I look forward to being there for someone all the time, to know someone inside out.
I will try to go back for maybe one more hour of sleep. Fingers crossed!