I am in a contemplative state. My mind is full of thoughts about life. I am thinking about some patients that has touched me, and the new job I’ve begun in. It is still amazing to me that I have come so far in my life.
Now i will rest for a while,
Quote from Pinterest
Time shifts. I take another sip from a crystal glass, the red liquid slithering down my throat. The glass sits on the table, resting. It can do nothing else than be. It has nothing it to do, it just stays put.
Time shifts yet again. I know I have to go soon, to meet two small kids and N. That we will be walking through the woods and eat pancakes. I will be present, quelling the unease and nervousness that is already here. I must look at the trees and remember I have nothing to prove. I am just here, like the trees. There is nothing I can do wrong. I can just be.
When we think about the future and past, we fail to see the now. Every second ticking by is an illusion. There is nothing else than what we experience at this moment. What was before, was the now then. What will become, is another now that we know nothing about. So right now I am sitting in my bed. The glass next to me, more present in the now than I ever can be. I need to breathe, to feel everything around me without trying to change it.
If the earth was devoid of life, it would be meaningless to ask a tree: What time is it? It would laugh, and say: “It`s now!”. While our clock is ticking, we forget that time has no meaning. The only thing that matters is what you do right now.
Some weeks ago, I read a wondeful book by Kathrine Aspaas. I dived into her book, and absolutely loved it. When we read the news, it`s easy to feel overwhelmed. There is so much pain, tragedy and suffering. But there is also hope. So many possibilities. She describes how our vulnerabilities are what makes us strong. If you have ever felt ashamed or like you have to hide, this book will lift your spirits. It might even free you.
I am including a ted-talk where she talks about the age of generosity. Maybe she will inspire you too?
When the world gets to much, he was there. They had been out walking. She in shoes that gave her blisters, he carrying a bag with groceries where the handle had been ripped off. They needed the fresh air, because two hours ago, she started to cry for no apparent reason.
They came home, and the mood was better. The depressive droplets of life fell to the ground while they walked, and inside it was warm. They went to bed, but she was tossing and turning. Remnants of the day twisted around in her, gave her no rest. Suddenly she felt his body on top or her. She was lying on the stomach, trying to find a comfortable position. His body was warm. Safe. But instead of just putting his whole weight on her, he arched his back until he transformed into an arrow. She asked him, laughing, what he was doing. He was silent for some seconds and then he answered: ‘I am your human shield’