Photo by: Jeff Bauche
There has been much debate around therapy and false memory. How can therapists be sure that they not suggest anything that hasn`t happened? Like the recent revelation about the false memories of Thomas Quick, who remembered he murdered 8 people he did not actually kill. A recent documentary about the pscyhiatric ward that installed these memories in him, shows how destructive it can be if therapists lead their clients towards their own understanding of the world (lack of real empathy and mentalization). To not say things that provoke mental events that didn`t occur, can be harder than one thinks. So, what is important to think about to prevent this from happening?
To not “create” a child part that isn`t real: If you ask if a part has a certain age, you can ask: Are you the same age as the ANP? Are you older? Are you younger?
When one asks about the perpetrator: Was it someone you knew? Was it a stranger? Was he/her young, old, related, a neigbor?
When you ask about memories, you must be careful not to hint there HAS been something there. When doing EMDR, you just say: Whatever comes up, is okay. If nothing comes up, that is okay too.
When exploring, have an open mind, don`t think that you know what has happened, as we don`t. The most important thing we can do, is to just be there. It is actually very difficult to just Accept what is, without interpreting everything, but it`s something all therapist must try if they want to do a good job.
How does it sound when heavy stones touch the earth? Can you see them sinners? Walking in their rugged shoes, barely able to move. How the sinful boulders finally tip over from the shoulders they rested on? Some of the stones land safely, on a meadow. Some start rolling down steep hills, crushing everything they meet. Some even fall on their unlucky feet. A short moment of relief. Why is there so little soft ground?
I love working as a psychologist. I learn as much from my client as they (hopefully) learn from me, and that is why I see therapy more as team-work than anything else. It’s about finding the recipe for a life THEY want, and like a good cook, one has to experiment with the ingredients available to find something that the customer likes. People are different, so we cannot expect that every type of treatment will fit all people. One of the working elements in therapy, is still how connected the client feels to the therapists, no matter what type of treatment therapists use. This actually gives a lot of freedom for therapists, if they don`t get too scared by not having a “manual” that can be followed from A-Z (I am a bit allergic to manuals, even if I of course apply certain principles in a consistent manner).
In Norway we have an excellent trauma specialist unit, that I have heard a lot about. Some of the finest psychologists and therapists work there, and I can see that they have one thing in common: Respect for the people they work with. They aren`t normally bound to just one way of helping people, they care more about working together with the client, finding the soothing techniques that fits them, and using the resources clients brings with them. Of course,sometimes new skills have to be aquired, but it usually is easier to build on what`s already there. In my experiences, it`s often enough to KNOW that it is effective to use strategies; This knowledge might manifest itself in a thirst for knowledge. It`s like the body reawakened with a hunger for life. It can all be summarized with; Therapy is change!
I’m not frightened. I’m not frightened of anything. The more I suffer, the more I love. Danger will only increase my love. It will sharpen it, forgive its vice. I will be the only angel you need. You will leave life even more beautiful than you entered it. Heaven will take you back and look at you and say: Only one thing can make a soul complete and that thing is love.”
The decisions of our past are the architects of our present.” D. Brown: Inferno.
Have you ever seen the skies draw apart revealing the image you longed to see? Your very own personal mirror.
Have you ever felt sure on what your mission in life will be?
I`ll confess I`ve had several strange insights and thoughts through my life, often after waking up in the morning after my eyes have fluttered from side to side like they do when I do EMDR.
After working with EMDR my insights happen more often than ever. Sometimes it`s hard to follow my train of thought and ideas. Butthat`s okay, my ideas usually organize themselves and become more understandable when I give them time to grow. I`ve realized that sometimes I have to draw my breath and let the ideas I present settle. I have also tried to learn the art of grounding, and most of the time I manage to live without floating too far from the earth.People around me know I`ve been working on something important (to me).
I have put a lot of time and effort into many of my ideas, and that also rings true for the kindness project. I have interviewed people, made a new blog and used time to plan everything. I`ve put a lot of energy into this, but it doesn`t mean that I`ll poured over books too heavy to lift. I`ve lived my life to the fullest while letting my (surprisingly clever) brain do its magic consciously or unconsciously.
Not everyone knows I`ve asked myself the same question countless times: Why is life so short? until I figure that one out, let me continue with what I`ll learnt so far:
“Denial is a critical part of the human coping mechanism. Without it, we would all wake up terrified every morning about all the ways we could die. Instead, our minds block out our fears by focusing
on stresses we can handle—like getting to work on time or paying our taxes.”
(I am fond of his books, but not denial)
I’m a fan of the truth… even if it’s painfully hard to accept.
I also have some bad news that might frustrate some. Maybe your thinking: “I`ve been waiting for this “revelation” for WEEKS now, and this is what I`ll get in return? If this rings true for you, I do apologize.I can only assure you that the waiting will be worth it. ff course, you can shorten the waiting time by writing an email (firstname.lastname@example.org) and I`ll give you the password. Some might even have an inkling what my new project will be (I have belief in the fearless conscious and unconscious mind) and tomorrow you`ll know for sure. Until then, we all make our small steps that sooner or later, might alter the future of humanity.
“consider this. It took the earth’s population thousand of years-from the early dawn of man all the way to the early 1800s- to reach one billion people. Then astoundingly, it took only about a hundred years to double the population to two billion in the 1920s. After that, it took a mere fifty years for the population to double again to four billion in the 1970s. As you can imagine, we’re well on track to reach eight billion very soon. Just today, the human race added another quarter-billion people to planet Earth. A quarter million. And this happens ever day-rain or shine. Currently every year we are adding the equivalent of the entire country of Germany.”
— Dan Brown
Although he’s not quite here yet (there are still a few red and orange leaves clinging for dear life), Old Man Winter is definitely heading up the driveway.
Personally, I love winter. I love snow and fireplaces and hot chocolate. I love snuggling up with my dog (and other loved ones!), decorating for the holidays, and baking warm goodies.
However, winter is hard on some folks. For many, it’s difficult to nourish our bodies and minds when we’re overwhelmed by the cold and dark. Some people deal with seasonal affective disorder, while others simply cope with the winter blahs.
Below are 12 quotes that can boost your spirits and keep you going throughout the rest of autumn and the upcoming winter months. As always, take what works for you and leave the rest behind.
- “A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition.” — William Arthur Ward
- “To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring.” — George Santayana
- “One kind word can warm three winter months.” — Japanese Proverb
- “Meditate. Live purely. Be quiet. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine.” — Buddha
- “The color of springtime is in the flowers; the color of winter is in the imagination.” — Terri Guillemets
- “When snow falls, nature listens.” — Antoinette van Kleeff
- “Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.” — Rabindranath Tagore
- “Dark clouds may hang on me sometimes, but I’ll work it out…” — Dave Matthews
- “Weather is a great metaphor for life — sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad, and there’s nothing much you can do about it but carry an umbrella.” — Terri Guillemets
- “Winter is on my head, but eternal spring is in my heart.” — Victor Hugo
- “There’s no such thing as bad weather, only unsuitable clothing.” — Alfred Wainwright
- “There is no season such delight can bring / As summer, autumn, winter and the spring.” — William Browne
How about YOU, sweet readers? What’s your favorite quote (or quotes) to get you through tough times?
Halting Schizophrenia Before It Starts
Small children scared to death of something they yet don`t understand. We shake our heads in disbelief. Parents, families and friends, who should love and protect them, harm them instead.
I know many are angry and saddened by the staggering numbers of abuse.
It is not only war that haunts us, the evil acts of brothers, sisters and friends, haunts us too. I can`t stop being naive; Believing that things can get better, but I need to see actions by the governments and powerful people that have our lives in their hands. Like Lilly Allen says: I love diamonds, I heard people die when their trying to find them. How many luxury goods do we need, while the world falls more and more apart? Is the empty life of so many the whole reason that positive change takes so much time? What if we all stretched out our hands. Not afraid of touching other human beings? But every person has their story, and some of the stories people carry with them, are dark enough to block out life even if it`s right in front of them. How long can they stay in the dark? How far can we cope with our own neglect of humanity? How long can we value ourselves, forgetting others in the process? Because there are thousand kinds of abuse, and us looking away, sure doesn`t make the world a better place. Child abuse should never happen. But it does, and we must face that. We can`t shake our heads in disbelief, at the same time as we do nothing. So, let`s shine some light, so that the darkness might lift a little.
Child abuse trauma: Theory and treatment of the … – Briere – Sitert av 1176
Total estimated cost of child abuse and neglect in the … – Wang – Sitert av 142
Child sexual abuse – Finkelhor – Sitert av 2951