I need you
So where are
The one who held my hand
In the cold
Now there’s just lingering memories
That I must let go
There is nothing
This new love
Brought me back
This life I must breathe and use
To let you go
You left the world
But another life
A gift of love that is already
It’s been 17 years since you died. Every year, I’m reminded of it. The 25th of October you left this world after being hit by a car. You flew through the air, and I wonder: What were your last thoughts? Did you realize this would be your last seconds? That you never would see your family and friends again?
Who would you be today, if you were still here? You were only 16. We talked about moving in together when I was 16, because we needed to spend as much time together as possible. You always made me smile, no matter how bad my day was. But after you died, smiling was harder. For years there was only blackness. When I saw other friends, it did not feel right, because I knew there never would be another you. Nobody could replace you, no one understood me as well as you did. You loved me to bits, and it was mutual.
I don’t know if there is a life after this. I’ve pondered that possibility since you died. To never see you again, feels terrible. I hope you are sitting on a cloud, watching over me. Are you sad? Sad because you had so many dreams that never will come true?
I’ve felt guilty for years. Why did I survive when you didn’t? I’ve been in two car accidents, but I’m still here. You were at the wrong place at the wrong time, and that feels unfair. You were loved by so many people, and you always saw the good in everyone around you. I’ve tried to keep that in mind, to bring it with me whenever I encounter new people. I am blessed to have known you.
Are you proud of me? Did I manage to become the person you hoped I would become?
17 years later, and I can still see your face and hear your voice when I close my eyes. The memories we shared are so precious to me, and I can’t and won’t ever forget you.
My boyfriend is snoring, so instead of trying to sleep I embrace the opportunity to write. My mind was occupied anyway with memories and random thoughts, so why not write it down instead?
Last weekend me and my boyfriend went to Poland. It was a great trip, where we had four whole days to do whatever we wanted. We managed to do some sightseeing, try an escape room for the first time, and take a day-trip to Berlin. The city we travelled to in Poland is called Szczecin, just a 2,5 hour bus drive to Germany`s capital city. Since it was cold, we did not see everything that was there, but we took the “red walk”, seeing some of the main attractions.
The so called “red walk” connects nearly all the attractions within the centre. This is by far the best way to discover the centre on foot, as all attractions are marked by a number (there are about 40) on the pavement, so you won’t miss one. At each of them there is a sign explaining some details about the sights.
Like Dorothy in the wizard of oz, we were safely taken to our targets by following the red lines. My shoes were sadly not red and pretty (and not very warm), but it was still a nice walk.
Szczecin is a pretty city, regardless of its unpronounceable name.
The creativity (and humor) of the hard-working Polish people also manifested itself on the bus to Berlin. There was a little menu describing what we could buy if we got hungry or thirsty, and on it there was a small addition: You could get a friendly neighbor for free!
Every city has something special, but the people you travel with makes the exploration of it even more memorable and exciting . I am glad I came to this part of Poland that I knew nothing about, happy to have seen the world through Polish eyes. Although I`ve read that the country has its problems, like a high unemployment rate, Poland still manages to show itself from its best side. Maybe a hard life makes people focus on what is good in life? We all know that people who look at the bright side and build on their strength when life gets difficult, can achieve great things. Painting the road with red lines might not seem like something groundbreaking, but it is clever.
I could have written a lot more about the trip, but will leave it for now. I can`t wait to go and explore more of the world. For now, I will just remember the weekend and soak up creativity whenever I encounter it.