cat

The sound of falling shackles

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But I got chains and you got wings

Angels were never meant to fall And you were the loveliest of all If I thought God could fix this, I’d pray for your forgiveness

Natalia Kills

From the blog: Dating a psychopath

This link ( http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xu2udi_when-louis-theroux-met-jimmy-saville_news#.UWdq7qLqmzg) is a good documentary with Louis Theroux. In this video all the classic character traits of a charismatic sociopath can be seen.

The truth about Jimmy Saville did not come out fully until after his death. He was a very celebrity in the UK, and operated behind his mask of charisma for decades. This is a really good video. Unfortunately I can no longer find this on youtube. 

More about her

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Amadeus  He never returned the cat after he got him. I never got the chance to say goodbye.

It`s actually quite sad that psychopaths/sociopaths never (?) can experience the range of feelings we have. People with shackles who are freed, can truly live in every way. Many psychopaths have no meanings in their lives, because without feelings, everything is flat. Its sad really, but they have to help themselves. It can`t be family or their lover. The people closest to us, don`t have the necessary distance that people must have to handle it. Am I a sociopath? (part 1) from the blogger in: 

Sociopath World

A reader of the blog to the sociopath, asks about how it is to be a sociopath. Here follows the answer:

Hello. I think I might be a sociopath, but I’m not sure. I don’t have a conscience per se, it’s more like a logical guide for what is right and wrong. Nothing turns my stomach, no type of immoral behavior enrages me unless I’m on the receiving end. All of my responses, even my “emotional” responses, are calculated and performed. I know I’m not the smartest person on the planet–VERY WELL, but I feel it. As far as my heart and soul are concerned, there is nobody smarter on this planet, even though the very mind in question knows that’s not the case. I use people when I can, so long as it doesn’t hurt them in the process. I’m not sure if that’s because I don’t want to hurt people or because I’d like to believe I’m not manipulative. Generally speaking, I don’t lie about anything except for my feelings. But I don’t go out of my way to hurt people. I actually go out of my way NOT to hurt people. Pretty much my entire life IS an act, and I don’t really know who I am… but I’m definitely not normal, nor do I fit all of the negative aspects of the sociopath stereotype. What does this sound like to you? I’m asking because as much as I’m able to make sense of the world around me, I cannot for the life of me make sense of myself. That is the one thing that my mind can’t penetrate. I can state facts about what I do, what I don’t do, my habits and tendencies, etc, but trying to form an opinion about myself is like walking through a minefield of self-deception and convenient stray thoughts.

The sound of the door bell waking me up

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This is already a wonderful day, even if I was torn out of sleep by kids ex exercising their finger muscles on my door bell. I tried to hide in the shadow as I opened because of my frankenstein’s face mask, but by their swift disappearance, I’m not sure I managed. They brought a present; My snow-White mate for life, little Amadeus. He’s been naughty as usual, but wasnt away for long this time, and that wasnt to bad either, since I had a visitor yesterday.

Today I’m going to Bergen together with Helene. The anticipation is brimming: I will see my psycholgy Friends, my sister, my best friend and a lot of other Friends, and will in addition to that play boardgames, maybe Even Resistance, which is the best social game ever made that I know of! I have also done a lot lately, for example met a lot of warm and inspiring psychologist, organized things for my group (am now planning a hike to a cabin) and read about mentalization. I’ve had the best chatts, and talked a lot with an amazing guy. Can’t believe my luck, it was worth fighting away the hurt, rejection and dissapointment that lingered from the bad choices I made. I feel free, and will devour every bit of life with vigor. I have so many good things now: Wonderful and caring friends in many cities, a great family, the best job where I help the nicest people find their inner beauty, all the things I need, and my Italian course, that produce goose-bumps when I discover yet another beautiful word that gives my ear another reason to listen to magic.

Remember this: even if everything is as bad as it can be, you will get the price in the end. Or like my mother said; Nothing is so bad that it can’t be fixed. I believe that, and if you don’t, listen to my and others stories, and don’t forget you’ve felt good before.

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