The butterfly effect

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The butterfly effect is a metaphor that encapsulates the concept of sensitive dependence on initial conditions in chaos theory; namely a small change at one place in a complex system can have large effects elsewhere.

As a psychologist, I believe in the butterfly effect. What if everyone did one kind act every week? How many would be affected and inspired to do kind things to others? Could it change the world? If you find this interesting, feel free to read about my kindness project. I have interviewed people about kind things they do, and hope this might inspire others to do the same. More can be read on my kindness blog: Kindness to a stranger


Project kindness to a stranger

To introduce the idea, I will ask everyone to watch this short movie first. Even if it takes 18 minutes, and afterwards you will feel good.

We go about our everyday lives wanting things to always be getting better. We hope that our work can make a difference. We also hope our children will have a good future. As anyone knows who has heard Martin Luther King Jr.’s famous speech—delivered fifty years ago this August~ dreams are at the center of any effort to make things better. And today we have something with more power than we might realize: The internet.

It’s not without reason that China and North-Korea tried to keep their inhabitants away from news. The media also have immense power, and even if some might argue that they focus on the wrong things, a lot of journalist really want to make the world a better place. Combine good journalists, the internet and kindness, and you have a wonderful recipe: People who actually do something.


So, by now you might be thinking: Yeah, sure, but what can I DO?

If you have watched the movie, you have seen the immense effect some words can have. When we have the possibility to help, by little effort, we do it. For example, most people help the world by sorting our paper, so that we can preserve the rainforest. So, what about potentially making somebody happy by smiling a little?

trueResearch shows that our mirror-neurons respond automatically by creating a smile on your own lips. This means that smiling AT someone, actually MAKE both parties happier. Research also shows that taking care of our own needs, makes it more likely that we can be there for others. So, like in the video, I would challenge the readers of this blog to do JUST one nice thing for somebody else (preferably a stranger, because that would have the biggest impact) the next week.

When you have done that, write WHAT you did, and if you want, leave your email at the end. This will be like signing a petition for releasing prisoners. Your contribution might become the new butterfly effect.



2013 My 100 Day Challenge (my100daychallenge.com)

(never stop dreaming!) http://www.lollydaskal.com/leadership/lolly-daskal-i-have-a-dream/

Validation: You can change things (forfreepsychology.wordpress.com)

A women who writes brilliantly about how to think for yourself and fight for what others say is “naive”:http://theoeditrix.com/2013/06/24/im-naive-not-stupid-theres-a-difference/




Enter now for the 2014 Charlotte Bacon Act of Kindness Awards!

Facebook: Pay it forward group. Meet and connect with others!

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The sound of life

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The decisions of our past are the architects of our present.” D. Brown: Inferno.

Have you ever seen the skies draw apart revealing the image you longed to see? Your very own personal mirror.
Have you ever felt sure on what your mission in life will be?

I have.

I`ll confess I`ve had several strange insights and thoughts through my life, often after waking up in the morning after my eyes have fluttered from side to side like they do when I do EMDR.

After working with EMDR my insights happen more often than ever. Sometimes it`s hard to follow my train of thought and ideas. Butthat`s okay, my ideas usually organize themselves and become more understandable when I give them time to grow.  I`ve realized that sometimes I have to draw my breath and let the ideas I present settle. I have also tried to learn the art of grounding, and most of the time I manage to live without floating too far from the earth.People around me know I`ve been working on something important (to me).

I have put a lot of time and effort into many of my ideas, and that also rings true for the kindness project. I have interviewed people, made a new blog and used time to plan everything. I`ve put a lot of energy into this, but it doesn`t mean that I`ll poured over books too heavy to lift. I`ve lived my life to the fullest while letting my (surprisingly clever) brain do its magic consciously or unconsciously.

Not everyone knows I`ve asked myself the same question countless times: Why is life so short? until I figure that one out, let me continue with what I`ll learnt so far:

“Denial is a critical part of the human coping mechanism. Without it, we would all wake up terrified every morning about all the ways we could die. Instead, our minds block out our fears by focusing
on stresses we can handle—like getting to work on time or paying our taxes.”
(I am fond of his books, but not denial)

I’m a fan of the truth… even if it’s painfully hard to accept.

Dan Brown

I also have some bad news that might frustrate some. Maybe your thinking: “I`ve been waiting for this “revelation” for WEEKS now, and this is what I`ll get in return? If this rings true for you, I do apologize.I can only assure you that the waiting will be worth it. ff course, you can shorten the waiting time by writing an email (forfreepsychology@gmail.com) and I`ll give you the password. Some might even have an inkling what my new project will be (I have belief in the fearless conscious and unconscious mind) and tomorrow you`ll know for sure. Until then, we all make our small steps that sooner or later, might alter the future of humanity.

“consider this. It took the earth’s population thousand of years-from the early dawn of man all the way to the early 1800s- to reach one billion people. Then astoundingly, it took only about a hundred years to double the population to two billion in the 1920s. After that, it  took a mere fifty years for the population to double again to four billion in the 1970s. As you can imagine, we’re well on track to reach eight billion very soon. Just today, the human race added another quarter-billion people to planet Earth. A quarter million. And this happens ever day-rain or shine. Currently every year we are adding the equivalent of the entire country of Germany.” 

— Dan Brown



M. Lukies

The sound of silence

Dancing in the moonlight

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Life and therapy is like a dance. You take one step forward and one back, sometimes aggressive and sometimes submissive

I admire people who get out there and dance no matter how tired they are

You give and you take. The beauty of it is that if you really really dare to dance, no matter how many that watch or how scary it is, you feel absolutely free. You laugh, you want to do it one more time and you simply live like you never have before.

It’s liberating to trust somebody so much that you now longer care. Therapy is like that all the time. Even if your dancemoves are out of synch, you try one more time. Even if you lose your breath because you give your all, you don’t give up.

I love dancing, literally or symbolically. Sometimes I think failing means the end of the world, but it might just mean that I can try a bit harder next time, and perfect my movements.

How about you? Do you like to dance through life? Or do you stand on the spot, watching everyone dancing around you with envy and spite growing inside?

I understand if you do, because sometimes falling really hurts. But I am proud whenever you try, when you get up again. Because you still smile, and never die. How can you, when you feel more alive than ever before?

I love to dance

The sound of phantoms

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I had been here before, a long time ago.

Some hide. Darkness their friends, light their enemies. Some of fright, some to win the war. We have all seen and known them, but like phantoms, they keep evading us. We see them, but only in the  When it`s too late, when they`ve crept out of their hiding places, they drag their victims with them. We find every type of them: Vampires, parasites and monsters. Some try to take you with them to their underworld, to their promise of bliss and peace. Some lure, some force, some decide for you. They try so hard to find company in their darkness. No matter who comes with them, or what the consequences will be. They like the phobic caves of fear, and have built many. They are architects of destructions, and prey on people already in debt.

I`ve always been a naïve skeptic, and given every type of architect a fair chance. They tried to drag me down to their underworld, too, but I liked it better in the light.

And now I`m coming back.


Warning: We hide in the global darkness
Warning: We hide in the global darkness

Darkness no more, let them come into the light so all their secrets can be revealed.

You held me down, but I got up

Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, your hear that sound
Like thunder, gonna shake your ground
You held me down, but I got up
Get ready ’cause I’ve had enough
I see it all, I see it now

No day but today

Thank you, Klavert. for trying so hard.

Sorry you failed


Phantom Of The Opera

Sunshine and Shadows: Life with DID


for password-protected posts, email me at forfreepsychology@gmail.com



The sound of two years passing

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It has already been two years! 378 posts, 55 drafts and 2 scheduled. It has been a great journey, and it still is!
A big thank you to all my readers. I hope you´ve found something of interest here. If something is missing, or need to get better, I would be delighted to hear your thoughts!
Happy Anniversary!

The sound of these years across my face

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lifesTime, such a strange thing. Some find clocks calming. They continue with their neverending ticking. Never stopping for anything. Reliable, stable. Some find them alarming. “No! I have so little left!”. The ticking is not calming, but terrifying, as all you should have done races by. You see the should have done`s on your mental canvas.

When we realize how much we still want to do, and how little time there is left, people react in different ways. Some even deny the truth of it, or start to seek a cure that MIGHT just work if they have a death sentence over their heads. Sometimes this even works, for the lucky ones, but what certainly works for everyone, is getting out there and DOING what you want. It`s making a plan, if that is necessary, and then following it, in manageable steps. How far you want to go has no limits, but what one should do to get there, must be allowed to take time.

Dreams do not harm, as it is a myth that we feel worse if our dreams don`t come true. Quite the contrary, studies show that we regret more the things we didn`t do, and if we do wrongs, we can at least try to fix it some way. If not, it`s certainly possible to change directions.

The fascinating thing, is that our mind decides all of this. We might get pushed and pulled by something around us, but our minds have the real power.

A mental image or memory  can be as strong, if not stronger, than any actual event.

I will follow mine, no matter how much time I have left.




Choose to live

How Spending Money Affects Happiness 

Davich: Use regret as personal motivator – Post-Tribune

DPchallenge: Memoir madness


The sound of roars

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                               First, the lyrics:

[Verse 1]
I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess
So I sat quietly, agreed politely
I guess that I forgot I had a choice
I let you push me past the breaking point
I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything

You held me down, but I got up
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, your hear that sound
Like thunder, gonna shake your ground
You held me down, but I got up
Get ready cause I’ve had enough
I see it all, I see it now


Roar by Katy Perry

I got the eye of the tiger, the fighter, dancing through the fire
Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
Louder, louder than a lion
Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR

Now I’m floating like a butterfly
Stinging like a bee I earned my stripes
I went from zero, to my own hero

You held me down, but I got up
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, your hear that sound
Like thunder, gonna shake your ground
You held me down, but I got up
Get ready ’cause I’ve had enough
I see it all, I see it now

I got the eye of the tiger, the fighter, dancing through the fire

I got the eye of the tiger, the fighter, dancing through the fire
‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
Louder, louder than a lion
‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’re gonna hear me roar

Source: http://www.directlyrics.com
Posted October 6, 2013

And then the song:

What did you think? I`d love feedback on what YOU discovered, as I might learn something from my readers as well.

More information:

The Daily Post

I have written some posts on dissociation, and even if people might feel this song has nothing to do with it, it still highlights one fact about dissociation: Dissociation means […]

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