The sound of crystallizing hope

Posted on November 2, 2014 Updated on October 31, 2014

Tiredness tickles me, but I stare bravely at my new mac-screen, with my legs crossed and a cup of warm, green tea at my side. I am in a mood to reflect about my day, before it flutters away like most days do. Small pieces of it assemble in my mind and hurry down to the knots, reminding me of getting up from a warm bed with my new love still in it, then going to work after 5 blissful days off, and all the little things that a day consists of. This evening I have used my big shot machine, to roll well-used templates through the pressure created by two plates upon each other, which resulted in many pretty figures that eventually will decorate purple and blue cards. I have treated myself nicely today, since I sometimes have felt rather clumsy and hopeless. It can be small things; Like making coffee, trying to balance it while walking, and then realizing that the content is reduced and the floor spotted with brownish dots. It can be two girls talking about skiing and their kids, while I know I can`t relate, since I`m in a different word than theirs. It can be clients feeling lonely, not picking up the phone, and with thousand worries lining their words. To smooth their worried brows I have thought about calm, rocking movements.

To comfort my own small bruises I have put my feet in scolding water, letting it soak me while scrubbing off yesterday`s news. I pull blankets around me, thereby keeping tiredness warm. I even sat in the sun for a while, closing my eyes and thinking about nothing while feeling fairly calm. I`ve also used my rocking ring, letting it swirl around me like a pretty dress, round and round in swift movements.

I love the rhythm of it, the safeness in it`s continuity. It`s the feeling of a rocking boat, a rocking horse, or sitting in a rocking chair with someone dear. When the ring touches my stomach, I block out other thoughts since I crave sensations. If thoughts or anxiety try to knock on my door, I just let them follow the movement of the ring so they don`t have time to bother me.

I also need food on my plate, and therefore chose to enter a local store so that I could pile up healthy groceries. When I came in, I was welcomed by a massive rearranging project. Food had sheltered itself inside boxes, laughing at the confusion created. Macaronis got to get acquainted with chips and vinegar, and sugar fell in love with tomato-sauce. New friendships and connection made inside these boxes, while the customers felt nothing but irritation at the disarray.

Sometimes life is like this, unorganized, and thrown into boxes lacking name-tags. Sometimes the shelves are empty, with just one hermetic box forgotten in the chaos. I wish it was possible to rearrange your life this way,sometimes. Woudn`t it be nice to mix it up a little, add salt when something`s too sweet, and a hint of pepper for more a wild touch?

The world is turning around, events mixing into each other and affecting people like ripples in a pond. Today I read that North Korea is still threatening the planet we share, while some people try to heal it. Two examples are signing a weapon treaty born for peace, and the other is Obama`s decision to fund brain-research. With knowledge growing around us, the organizing of lives will be easier, there will be less mixing with wrong ingredients, and several smart combinations that enrich our lives. The boxes will be filled by colorful balloons, bursting with energy and the rocking ring will turn itself smoothy, catching hope and tossing it back to more people, people with brain damage, sickness and psychological problems can catch it with their open hands.

This knowledge will hopefully turn into hard crystals of unbreakable facts, so that a strong core is created. This core can be used to block cannons and to plant seeds growing into flowers of strength, and hopefully the rocking ring will spread it with steady movements.

The rocking ring turns around my stomach, catching something and bringing it back to me. I put it in my pocket, and give small pieces of it everywhere I go. I hope you got it, too.