Millions believe in miracles. And millions have experienced it too. Six weeks ago, I was the lucky one. My miracle appeared the 20th of April, when my son was born. It is still so strange to have a son. One week after he was born, his eye was infected and I had to get a remedy in the pharmacy. When she asked me if it was for myself or someone else, I proudly announced it was for my son. It hit me then. I am now a mother, with all that it entails. First and foremost, that means being there for him, making him secure. He has already got a little personality, and so far he has been a very kind and calm baby. These last days he has also become more social and engaged with the world. Every little development is a miracle, just him being here is. How lucky am I ?
The moon is hanging in the sky, looking down at my hometown. Jølster, a beautiful spot on the Norwegian map, sits under the blanket of stars, almost touching the sky with its mountain tops.
It’s eastern, and that means finally spending time with my family. We’ve eaten dinner and played board games, laughing and talking. I’ve made some songs while playing on the piano and taken a walk, watching the glittering snow relaxing on the ground. The only thing that’s been irritating me is how changed the landscape has become. Scarred by excavators eating away the green fields, have made Jølster unrecognizable. Hopefully this will lead to better roads eventually, but right now my home place has turned into a troll.
My psychologist heart tries to convince me that I shouldn’t focus on this. Instead it reminds me how lucky I am. I get to be with my loved ones and create new memories. That’s all that matters.
I just wanted to say Merry Christmas to my readers. For some, Christmas can be tough, a time where we are reminded of losses. For others it means being together with loved ones and feeling happy. I am celebrating Christmas with my sister, brother and father. My two half-siblings will come later in the evening. We will eat good food and then open Christmas gifts.
A friend of mine has been at the hospital for three weeks now. She has lupus and is always at the risk of getting different sorts of infections that make her really sick. Today the doctor told her that if she gets sick like this again, she might not get children. And she can not try to get pregnant for at least six months. And she really wanted a child. Having that possibility wiped away from her, made her realize that she is sicker than she wants.
Life can be really unfair, and right now my friend is feeling disappointed and tired of the problems piling up in front of her. I can’t quite imagine how she manages, but one of the things that I’m impressed by is that she’s able to feel her pain. That she allow herself to feel grief. I know life has been meaningless for her, but she is one of the bravest and most wonderful people I know. So I will think about her, and hope that she can get out of the hospital soon and feel good enough to do something that will give her time to heal and rest.