One way to feel better, is to practice thankfulness. I’ve either hear or read about collecting memories of what you are thankful for, and looking back at them at the end of the year. I don’t just want to practice what I preach when I tell clients what might be useful, so I have started my own thankful collection in January. Instead of using a jar or a box, I am working on a decoupaged book where is will put scraps of paper with that days events written on them.
I can already feel how meaningful this is. By using just one minute every day to reflect on what’s good in my life, I feel grateful. It also boosts my mood, and I like to believe it also inspires me to do even more of what I love. I’ve also discovered a trend: What I write down and remember is when I’m with other people. I’ve written down things they have said and what we have done together. So for me, that’s what I’m most thankful for.
There are myriads of ways to do this little excersise. Use your imagination and keep trying to record what is good in your life. There will always be something: For someone with depression it might be that they managed to take a walk. For traumatized individuals it might be a kind word, or the absence of flashbacks. For the anxious, it can be going into a supermarket with a thumping heart.
After thinking and writing down some of my plans for the next couple of days, I will now draw the curtains and shut the window for the night. I’m quite excited, so I wonder if I can ‘shut out’ the thoughts and ideas that are jumping up and down. I just know I look forward to waking up, drawing back the curtains and opening the window for a new day with a different view.
The night is my lover, right now (written tonight, 01:00). Its blackness filled with city-light, and its silence comforting. A sound now and then as cars drive by, lonely riders delivering the products and dreams of others. My brain has slumbered for weeks now. Some bouts of energy have quickly fallen to sleep again, hibernation taking over. Is it the balmy air of spring calling me ? I think the answer is straightforward: Next week I have a “writing leave”, and I`ve already written and read a lot of what I need to get through (I am writing a specialist article about EMDR and how it influences the brain). That opens up time for other activities, and my projects, so far in sleep mode, have started to jump up and down like crazy cheerleaders again. The bouncing produce energy, and as we all know: Energy can not be created or destroyed, it can only be changed.
I have three main projects at the time. Sometimes it`s hard to know what to do first, so maybe you can help?
|Where the kindness
– Kindness to a stranger, that focus on encouraging people to do ONE kind act toward others. I have started to interview people and will work on interviewing “famous” people in Norway to see how they think about kindness.
– My work:
Doing science on EMDR and planning a course on emotions
– My facebook group “Aktiviteter i Førde“
On this group people can post what happens in our city, and I also organize some activities.
Many of the tasks will involve chatting with people. I love that part of it; Meaningful conversations that feel like they matter. I can do small talk, but it never has been my greatest strength, and I do notice my tendency to zone out when people start to talk about the weather. Sometimes I wish I could be more NORMAL. Just be pleased with everyday life; Enjoying good food, focus on friends and family more, travel and talk about everyday life. But I would feel like I didn`t follow my dreams, and people are different. Some find it satisfying to follow their dream about a calm life with all its benefits, and some dream about changing the world (I still remember how one girl in my psychology class told me she wanted to do exactly that, and I know she actually does, every day by just being herself).
I am happy people can be satisfied with different things, since that makes the world better, But that also leads to responsibility: One cannot and should not ignore ones dreams, because some aren`t meant for exactly what parents or society expects. Some must explore different locations or venues, since their dreams are a bit harder to achieve in normal settings. That doesn`t mean that dreaming about a home, a family, a place to eat lunch and talk about the weather, is unworthy. I am grateful that some people love these things, as there would be chaos if not. It’s actually the glue of society, and vital for me and everyone else. But this week I will dedicate myself to writing (like I should) but also planning and organizing some of my projects. I will also try to update my blog more than I`ve done the last couple of weeks, and look forward to meeting new people with good ideas!
|How should I use my time the next days?|
Kindness to a stranger group. Be kind and become the winner of 500 euros! Rules can be found on the event
- Members in my group
What do you want for christmas? Have you already made a list? Sometimes, I can be
a listomanic (people would never believe this, as much as I forget), and when it comes to christmas I like to write down what I want, and what I shall give to others. I try to start early with the preparations, so that I have enough time to think about what I`ll give to whom. It`s always been important for me to find good presents, and I still do. I especially like thoughtful gifts, or
gifts with meaning, and that can be challenging. If you have ideas, feel free to comment. One of the ideas I really fallen for the last year, is giving someone a heart-warming gift. Two years ago I gave my mum a «goat». This might seem strange, but I actually bought a goat. Not to her, that is, but to a little boy in Africa. She got the «evidence» of this, and loved the fact that her gift had been to make a family happy. Since she never wants anything, this was perfect for her. I`ve also found a web-page with a similar concept: You can give women better lives as gifts for others. I think many would actually appreciate it, since we often have too many socks or books, anyway. But what we don`t have is the glowing warmth of doing something good for others. This feeling is a rare gift, and what I try to evoke when I wrap gifts in self-made paper. Christmas should be about love, and for me, it is.
This year, give your loved ones meaningful holiday gifts that help women survivors of war rebuild their lives. This holiday season, browse our Gifts that Give Back catalog and honor someone special with a gift that will leave a lasting impact on women’s lives.
WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED? "Eighty-four. Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom." (Judy, 8) "Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm goin o find me a wife." (Tommy, 5) WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? "On the first date, they just tell each ot her lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." (Mike, 10) WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." (Jim,10) "Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." (Kally, 9) THE GREAT DEBATE: IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? "It's better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them." (Lynette, 9) "It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." (Kenny, 7) CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE: "No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." (Jan, 9) "I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." (Harlen, 8) ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE: "Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." (Roger, 9) "If falling in love is anything like learning to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long to learn." (Leo, 7) ON THE ROLE OF GOOD LOOKS IN LOVE AND ROMANCE: "If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful." (Jeanne, 8) "It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." (Gary, 7) "Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a longtime." (Christine, 9) CONCERNING WHY LOVERS OFTEN HOLD HANDS: "They want to make sure their rings don't fall off, because they paid good money for them." (David, 8) CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE: "I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when The Simpsons are on TV." (Anita, 6) "Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I've been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." (Bobby, 8) "I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." (Regina, 10) PERSONAL QUALITIES NECESSARY TO BE A GOOD LOVER: "One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." (Ava 8) SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU: "Tell them you own a whole bunch of candy stores." (Del, 6) "Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." (Alonzo, 9) "One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me." (Bart, 9) HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS EATING DINNER AT A RESTAURANT ARE IN LOVE? "Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in love." (John, 9) "Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food," (Brad, 8) "It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it's just like their hearts are on fire."(Christine, 9) WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN THEY SAY "I LOVE YOU": "The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him, but I hope he showers at least once a day." (Michelle, 9) HOW A PERSON LEARNS TO KISS: "You learn it right on the spot, when the gushy feelings get the best of you." (Doug, 7) "It might help if you watched soap operas all day." (Carin, 9) WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? "It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you...that's why I stopped doing it." (Jean, 10) HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE: "Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." (Tommy, 7) "Don't forget your wife's name...that will mess up the love." (Roger,8) "Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take the trash out." (Randy, 8)
A lot of my posts have been rather dark and gloomy, but now I want to light that up a bit with some pictures of places I dream about. I will probably not go to them this year, or maybe never, but the point is to remind myself of the good things out there, and I hope it inspires some of you too. I have so many places to still see, even if I have travelled as much as I can to countries in Europe, Asia and some in Africa (Marocco and Egypt, not sure if the last counts as it was in Hurghada). I am going to America in the autumn, and then have South-America and Australia left. Can`t wait!
Do people have recommendations for places to visit?