internet

Integrating a dissociative world

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One of my heroes is Steve Jobs. After hearing his autobiography, I was convinced that this is one of the few who have changed the world for the better. Steve Jobs started small, but as most people know, it did not take long before his pursuit of perfection became a reality. Throughout his life he was convinced that the Internet would be able to influence the world.

The Web is not going to change the world, certainly not in the next 10 years. It’s going to augment the world. And once you’re in this Web-augmented space, you’re going to see that democratization takes place.

Steve Jobs, on a interview with business insider 

As a psychologist, I have worked a lot with the integration of traumatic memories. The method I have used most, is EMDR. Five years of practice has taught me how important it is to create unity. This often takes a long time and it is necessary to only take one step at a time to succeed. Steve Jobs knew this. He had to start with designing his MacBook before he could work with programming it. Step by step he walked forward, and the longer he came, the faster it went.  Steve Jobs was a good judge of character, which helped when we walked towards the future. By finding people that transported him from one point to another, he got to his goal faster.

The brain consists of nerve cells that are organized in networks. This network is so complex that we are still far away from recreating it. The brain is plastic and can reorganize itself, and if you transfer this to society you can see the same thing: By letting everybody work together to find a solution, we can adapt to challenging circumstances. The internet also makes it easier to transfer knowledge and help our brains to adapt by providing the information it needs.

Sometimes it feels like I can see lines that criss-crossing over the earth. We have telephone cables, internet lines, radio waves and planes. All have one thing in common: They are connecting people.There have been many articles lately that we stand on the edge of a melt-down. The  financial crisis and the Syrian war are examples of problems affecting us all in one way or another. But might this not be positive too? When everybody is affected, we can no longer close our eyes and pretend it does`t exist.

Trauma can shatter people into a thousand pieces. But for every traumatic event, there is a person who wants to help. Somebody who wants to pick up a bit to put it back in its place.

When I say I want to help as many as I can, people tell me to slow down. I agree. I know my enthusiasm must be contained, that I cannot do everything. But their worries will never stop me, because I do believe that we all can change the world. Countless times I`ve heard that I must take care of my own needs first, and I have listened. But when somebody tries to tell me that I should`t try to change the world, I protest. If you told the same thing to Steve Job, he would keep on walking. He would not just find allies, but also enemies. But he would not let it stop him, because he needed to be true to himself.

I know I need to watch my feet when I pick up broken pieces of glass, and let others help me when I fall apart. But in spite of the dangers, I will never let go of the person holding my hand.

When we all pick up our pieces and glue them back together, we will realize one thing: We are all the same. We can recognize ourselves in others, and learn from them. There are no bad, good or crazy people. There are just different points of views. We are not one person, we are one world. We don`t need borders, we need to stand together.

We need to integrate the world.

 

More:

Mass suggestion: A way to save the world? 

The sound of spinning around

Kindness to a stranger

Steve Jobs

EMDR

Brain scans have clearly demonstrated pre-post changes after EMDR therapy, including increases in hippocampal volume, which have implications for memory storage. The bottom line of EMDR outcome research is that clinical change can be both profound and efficient.

10 Scientific Keys to Changing Anything In Your Life

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10 Scientific Keys to Changing Anything In Your Life

Changing your behavior is hard.

Luckily, there is a scientifically proven way to do it that gives you the best chance of success.

Anyone who is trying to change their behavior without understanding this science needs to stop, now. Read up on the science. Learn to do it the more effective way.

Then, start again, with better strategies, and create the life you’ve always wanted.

Here’s the other thing you should know: behavior change is hard. Hard like algebra. You will work on it for “a while” before you get to that dream-life. What is “a while”? Years.

But that’s okay. The secret of self-development is that everybody has to work hard and put in a lot of work, if they want to achieve something great.

It just so happens that here at Fierce Gentleman we believe that every man is destined for greatness.

So, below we give you the keys to greatness: 10 scientific keys you need to change anything in your life.

Of course, information alone does not lead to life change. (That’s one of the keys.)

But never before has so much high-quality, scientifically-validated information been available for free, to anyone, to get their path started:

10 Scientific Keys to Change Any Behavior

  1. Willpower is weak. Environmental influences are much more important than willpower. (1,2)
  2. Information does not lead to actionEmotions lead to action. (Tweet this) This one is harder to back up with scientific studies, but it has long been my personal experience….over 8 years of studying both my own behavior, and the behavior of others who I’m trying to help. Information allows us to know in which direction we can go, but ultimately, emotions motivate us to take action. See also (2) 
  3. The Internet destroys your ability to focus. Unless you’re reading higher-level long-form articles, like this one. Read the book The Shallows by Nicholas Carr.
  4. Facebook makes you unhappy. Delete your account (unless you’re using it for business.) (3)
  5. Today’s processed foods are engineered to flood the reward centers of your brain, and potentially trigger food addictions that will wreck your health and wellbeing. Eat vegetables instead. (4,5)
  6. Exercise makes your brain bigger. It also gives you more self-control, lifts depression, and stamps out anxiety. (6)
  7. Meditation makes your brain bigger. It also gives you more self-control, lifts depression, and stamps out anxiety. (7)
  8. Give up alcohol. The breakdown of alcohol in your body creates toxins that the body has to remove. It is also extra calories that will contribute to extra fat storage. The additional toxic load can make you sick. And drinking and driving or just being out around other drunk drivers can kill you.  Give up alcohol. (1o)
  9. Take time off work. Overwork drains your willpower and makes you stressed and sick. (Personal experience, common sense.)
  10. Maximize neurotransmitters oxytocin, GABA and serotonin. Minimize activities that have you “chasing the dopamine dragon.” Activities that stimulate dopamine: shopping, gambling, pornography, binge eating. Activities that stimulate serotonin, oxytocin & GABA: getting a massage, swing in a hammock, spending time with loved ones, meditating, praying, listening to music, reading. (See The Willpower Instinct.)

Ready for more?

Click here to get the full ebook with 23 principles

(No email required)

Each of the above 23 principles could be a textbook in its own right, given the amount of research that has been done in that area — and there is much, much more to be said about how to actually implement changes using these principles in your own life.

But the information is out there. There is enough knowledge freely available tocompletely change your life and make it into whatever you wish — if you are able to take action.

As I used to say when I was working with adult students, “There are tons of ways to be an F student, but only a few ways to be an A student.

Whenever I study another person who is really achieving greatness in life, I see them doing one of a small number of very similar things.

If you do the things they do, you will get the results they get.

SOURCES 

I’m a behavior change professional. I’ve spent my entire professional career helping people change things in their lives: ability to focus, study habits, success habits, corporate performance, brain function.

I’ve read tons of books and research articles on the subject of willpower, habit formation, interpersonal neurobiology, and cognitive science, and I’ve been involved on the ground-level of helping other people change their patterns, habits, and lives for over 10 years.

So although the majority of the above assertions are backed by solid science, a few of them, marked “personal experience” are just from my own experience with over 500 individuals and their life-change journeys.

If you’re interested in further reading, see the excellent books, articles and presentations below.

flourish4

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