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Personality

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Mirrorgirl: The mediatior and integrator

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What follows, is a description of my personality type. I was a bit surprised at how correct it was, how can a test know about my love for language, the creativity, the way of living my life? Off course, we often just see what fits, but I have tried to search for things that don`t fit, and have not been successful yet.

The only thing I would like to add, is that I rather use the word “integrator” than “mediator” as this reflects the way I work with trauma more accurately.

If you want to take the test yourself, you can do it by following this link

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INFP PERSONALITY (“THE MEDIATOR”)

INFP personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things better. While they may be perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy, INFPs have an inner flame and passion that can truly shine. Comprising just 4% of the population, the risk of feeling misunderstood is unfortunately high for the INFP personality type – but when they find like-minded people to spend their time with, the harmony they feel will be a fountain of joy and inspiration.

INFP personalityBeing a part of the Diplomat (NF) personality group, INFPs are guided by their principles, rather than by logic (Analysts), excitement (Explorers), or practicality (Sentinels). When deciding how to move forward, they will look to honor, beauty, morality and virtue – INFPs are led by the purity of their intent, not rewards and punishments. People who share the INFP personality type are proud of this quality, and rightly so, but not everyone understands the drive behind these feelings, and it can lead to isolation.

All that is gold does not glitter; not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither; deep roots are not reached by the frost.

J. R. R. Tolkien

We Know What We Are, but Know Not What We May Be

At their best, these qualities enable INFPs to communicate deeply with others, easily speaking in metaphors and parables, and understanding and creating symbols to share their ideas. The strength of this intuitive communication style lends itself well to creative works, and it comes as no surprise that many famous INFPs are poets, writers and actors. Understanding themselves and their place in the world is important to INFPs, and they explore these ideas by projecting themselves into their work.

INFPs have a talent for self-expression, revealing their beauty and their secrets through metaphors and fictional characters.

INFPs’ ability with language doesn’t stop with their native tongue, either – as with most people who share the Diplomat personality types, they are considered gifted when it comes to learning a second (or third!) language. Their gift for communication also lends itself well to INFPs’ desire for harmony, a recurring theme with Diplomats, and helps them to move forward as they find their calling.

Listen to Many People, but Talk to Few

Unlike their Extraverted cousins though, INFPs will focus their attention on just a few people, a single worthy cause – spread too thinly, they’ll run out of energy, and even become dejected and overwhelmed by all the bad in the world that they can’t fix. This is a sad sight for INFPs’ friends, who will come to depend on their rosy outlook.

If they are not careful, INFPs can lose themselves in their quest for good and neglect the day-to-day upkeep that life demands. INFPs often drift into deep thought, enjoying contemplating the hypothetical and the philosophical more than any other personality type. Left unchecked, INFPs may start to lose touch, withdrawing into “hermit mode”, and it can take a great deal of energy from their friends or partner to bring them back to the real world.

Luckily, like the flowers in spring, INFP’s affection, creativity, altruism and idealism will always come back, rewarding them and those they love perhaps not with logic and utility, but with a world view that inspires compassion, kindness and beauty wherever they go.

Borderline Personality Disorder: Heroic Martyr or Emotional Vampire?

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In keeping with my frequent diaries on mental illness, rage, and obsessive hatred, I thought it was time to talk about the Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).  The BPD combines many of the traits discussed in previous diaries, and condenses them into a toxic brew.   This is an especially good topic for the holidays, when many of us will be dealing with family members that we have been able to avoid for most of the year.

BPD is one of the most common mental illnesses affecting 3% to 5% of the population.  Borderline symptoms frequently occur with other problems like Bipolar disorder or substance abuse, creating a personality that is extremely toxic to the people around. They are obsessed with control, and when BPD is combined with other mental health problems, they are the Energizer Bunny of emotional and physical bullying.  BPDs have an extremely high rate of suicide, and BPD may be a leading cause of suicide.

The BPD used to be described as “borderline psychotic” because they are subject to psychotic fits of rage.  Actually the BPD combines the characteristics of many mental illnesses, especially the other  Cluster B (Dramatic, Emotional, or Erratic Disorders) Personality Disorders.Although the BPD can be very resistant to entering treatment, the cliche and cartoon-like structure of their personalities is leading to more effective cognitive therapies. But they will probably only reach therapy after “hitting bottom”  through addiction, repeated suicide threats, or self mutilation (“cutting.”)  Cutting used to be considered a  sure sign of BPD, but this was probably an  oversimplification.

They may also hit bottom and require hospitalization for depression as a result of relationships with addicts, who the BPD may find irresistibly attractive.  If they are driven to despair by their relationship with addicts, they may find help through Al-Anon.  You can find more information about this in my previous diary  What is a Codependent Dry Drunk?

BPD see themselves as always being the victim of other people.  They constantly accuse the people closest to them of acting maliciously against them.  These accusations change constantly, and the BPD doesn’t really to”believe” the accusations they make or even try to keep track of them like a good liar.  Although their accusations are often incoherent and contradictory, they make up for that with the tremendous number of lies they tell and the theatrical emotionality of their stories.

Their accusations that others are sabotaging them are often merely projection (pot kettle black) of their own efforts to sabotage and betray coworkers, spouses, and children. Ultimately, the only person really sabotaging the BPD is probably themselves through antisocial actions and substance abuse, although they are also emotional “shit magnets” for abusive personalities.  They may reject any romantic relationship that is not abusive, but they will still describe their partner as abusive to gain sympathy and lure new partners.  They will go to absurd lengths to provoke a fight so they can claim to be the victim.

Besides being the eternal victim, many BPDs will  strive to be seen as heroes, defenders of the truth and the weak. This involves declaring that “bad” people deserve to be punished and then singling them out for months or years of accusations and abuse.  Because rage and abusiveness proves they are good.

As some of the comments note, there is a an overlap between narcissism and BPD. The key difference seems to be that the BPD is codependent and the narcissist is counterdependent. In other words, the BPD clings desperately to just about anyone, while the narcissist usually terminates romantic relationships.  The BPD is more likely to experience periods of clinical depression and guilt. Although the BPD seems more unstable, hostile, and impulsive than the narcissist, the presence of guilt in the BPD may indicate a greater potential for recovery.  The narcissist is more charming, but is also more ruthless and experiences less guilt. Although the BPD has obvious problems, they may have fewer antisocial (sociopathic) traits than a narcissist.  Also a borderline is far more likely to threaten suicide than a narcissist.

It’s probably easiest to start be describing how a BPD acts:

Can’t be alone,  can’t stand to be with others, a common neurotic trait.

Makes everyone walk on eggshells – this is a a common way of describing other personality disorders as well.

Extreme pride and grandiosity
 – even thought the BPD suffers from a crippling lack of self esteem, they may give the appearance of being armor plated.  Whatever criticism reaches them is filtered through layer after layer of denial and distortion.  They may be quite proud of their character flaws.

Shame and secrecy – There is a general sense that anything the BPD does in private must never be spoken of.  In selecting the person for group bullying (in the home or workplace) they will single out the truth teller of the group.

“Gaslighting”
 – trying to convince others that they are mentally ill, such as trying to convince them that real abuse did not occur. In Wikipdeia and a personality disorder blog.

Projective Identification
 – playing the victim by constantly trying to provoke others into being angry.  This not only fills the emotional needs of the BPD, it can nearly make it impossible for observers to determine which person is ill and abusive. See this diary.

Respect me! – pretend my fake emotions are real. This is common in many mental health problems.

Conflict in all their relationships.  Years of grudges and score keeping

Nothing is their fault, especially their own emotions.  Other people are to blame for the BPD’s feelings, as if everyone else has the power to broadcast directly into the BPD brain.  Blame others people for making them feel bad, then blame them others for not making the BPD feel better.

Demands that people join in their mental games. Creates a bubble of chaos whereever they go.

Don’t tell me what to do! Pointless defiance seems to often take the form of denying medical care to their children or parents. Not taking their kid to the doctor is “standing up for themselves” and being told that their kid needs to go to the doctor makes them some sort of martyr

Constant ad hominem attacks – other people have horrible flaws. Often the  BPD can’t quite identify their problem, but the BPD is sure those flaws are in other people and they must be punished.

They will pick apart  everything another person says, and turn that into an accusation.  Living with the BPD is like living through the Inquisition.  Their style can be described as  “analyze and accuse, analyze and accuse.”

They will always claim to know what other people thinking so that they always have an excuse for their rage.

Punishing “thought crimes”
 – since they know what people are thinking, they are in a perfect position to actively punish people for thinking bad thoughts and to recruit other to help punish the thought criminal.

“You think…!” ….For me the BPD lecture that starts out “You think…” is the end of the line because that is the beginning of the onslaught of mindreading and ad hominems. . When I was dating, I would tell people up front that if I ever heard the words “You think…” that I would never speak to them again.  Actually, I would give one “get out of jail free” card, but it was still a solid rule for relationships.

They really do seem to believe they just know what people are thinking, and they try to micromanage other people’s thoughts. This delusional thinking is common in the downward spiral of a power struggle.

“What do you really mean?”  This also overlaps with bipolar.  The subject changes because they are substituting words, apparently because they are swapping words and meaning in their head.  I recently had to restart a conversation about five times to keep it on topic, and I had to point exactly which words were being substituted.  For bipolar people there can be a look of intense concentration as they listen and analyze what you say as if they were trying to listen in a very noisy room. There is an entire inner dialogue going on behind their eyes.

They also assume that other people should know what the BPD wants, and they are enraged when other people fails to deliver what they need.  This is extremely passive aggressive.

They lack personal boundaries, demand to know what other people are thinking or feeling, and are always digging digging digging for evidence to use against others.

In addition to mind reading, they also have the ability to “hear” whatever they need to hear in order to justify their own actions.  This results in constant “he said/she said” arguments where the BPD is recalling some entirely different conversation.

And you can’t win – it’s Damned-if-you-do-and-damned-if-you-don’t, or heads-they-win-and-tails-you-lose, today you were too much of this and too little that but tomorrow it will be exactly reversed.

The BPD has a circle of neurotic friendships to provide the attention, validation, and sympathy that they need to survive.

Accusations – effortless lying, crying, incoherent but convincing, probably believe their own lies more than most people believe anything.

Although they may suffer constant guilt, they constantly try to use guilt against others, and pile guilt on their children. You will never hear them say they are sorry about anything.

Obsessed with the “Truth” and accusing other people of lying (more projection, right?).  Did you say you were going to take your umbrella when you went out but changed your mind because the sun came out?  Then you lied.

Being right in negative and pointless ways, pedantic arguments.

Although seemingly armor plated with narcissistic certainly, they will also plunge into periods of depression and self loathing at regular intervals.

I believe that some BPD are capable of being charming in a superficial way, like a narcissist.   The stereotype of the Jekyll-and-Hyde lover who romantically woos their mate during a whirlwind romance, then becomes abusive as soon as they are married is probably more narcissistic.  This is an area I’ll be reading more about, and tprobably an area of some controversy.

Urge to betray and sabotage their own relationships and destroy other peoples relationships.

The BPD will often be in a series of abusive relationships.  But being a “shit magnet” for abusive partners lets them deny their own deeply masochistic and sadistic tendencies that are directed at every living person within range.

Constantly accuses others of thinking bad thoughts.  Think you are safe by just sitting quietly in the corner – well the BPD will pronounce judgment on your thoughts, including the things you never did and never even said.  A good response is “If you can read my thoughts, then can do this from another zip code. Here’s your car keys, now get the fuck out.”

Another theme of BPD discussions online  is the BPD need to humiliate others. Public sexual humiliation may be comically overdone,  like cuddling with your best friend at a party.  Remember, they want to get a reaction so they can play the victim, so it’s probably better to just tape the episode and put it on YouTube.  But beware, they may have already taken a selfie of them tongue-kissing your boss under the mistletoe and put it on Facebook.  Because that’s just how they roll.

Use of projection is obvious – the BPD constantly accuses others of being angry, negative, and abusive. And their accusations against others is a projection of their own guilt.

BPDs  tell people details about their life very soon after meeting them, especially stories of  how abused they were.  Why tell people this right away?  Other people are tricked into believing that they are saving the BPD. It’s important to remember that these stories frequently aren’t even true. Often the person the BPD claims is abusing them is actually supporting them financially and emotionally, and the BPD is enlisting henchmen in their efforts to betray their real supporter.   The classic scenario is the wife that pus the BPD husband through law or medical school, and then he abandons her after graduation, but a couple years later he has become a drug addict.

Sex and romance are important to the BPD. Rushing into sex in a relationship is typical of the BPD.  First, it’s part of the overly-intense hot phase of the hot/cold BPD relationship.  But it’s also a way of filling the vacuum in the relationship, concealing the lack of actual emotional connection with the other person.  Through sex and  male schlock romanticism, the BPD imitates their idea of what a human being would be.  Like “Dexter,” a BPD is a “human imitator”  to compensate for the  odd gaps in their personality, which is like a pie that has a had a couple big slices removed.  The behavior, even their chronic rage, has a flat repetitive and robot like quality.  This might be an aspect of “splitting” that their personality consists of limited actions and reactions that are repeated as simple scripts that usually run in the same order and can’t be modified.Perhaps one of the reasons they skip from relationship to relationship is that is too easy for other people to figure out their limited and predictable behaviors, even the sadistic ones.

The BPD is an adult child trying to raise a real child with a the lack of a real bond between them.  The BPD may feed the child when it’s sleepy, try to play when it needs a clean diaper, put it to bed when it’s hungry.  It’s so easy to make a child miserable when empathy is missing, and it’s even better when it creates the chance to say “DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO” or wail “YOU THINK I’M A BAD PARENT.”  Of course it’s even better if the child has a health problem, so this can be used to generate sympathy.  A BPD parent may drag a healthy child from specialist to specialist for years insisting that the child has some serious problem that is only visible to the BPD parent.  They are also often trying to force the child to drop out of high school or college so they never leave home. Narcissists have a similar lack of connection to their children, but the narcissist has more of an investment in being seen as a super parent with super children.  The narcissist may force the child to excel to glorify the parent, while the BPD is probably more likely to undercut the child and keep them dependent on the parents.

For people who know them, the BPD stories of heroism and victimhood can’t conceal that BPD’s are often extremely controlling, abusive, sadistic, manipulative, amoral, and dishonest.  They are obsessed with controlling others, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Most of their relationships will end with a power struggle in which the BPD seems to be demanding unconditional surrender, except they are probably already in the process of abandoning the relationship or being abandoned.

When the BPDs romantic relationship inevitably turns into a power struggle, BPD symptoms become a terrifying uncontrolled spiral into madness with a high probability of violence.  Seemingly minor unresolved disagreements his will often tip the BPD over the edge from functioning at a fairly normal level to becoming an emotional mess with psychotic episodes that lead to violence, arrest, suicidal gestures, and treatment in a mental hospital.  Other big risk factors include the death of a parent (where there was typically a long running power struggle) and the growth of child (with the typical power struggles).

Their most stable relationships are friendships with other people who also have problems with anger and low self esteem, except these neurotic “frenemies” encourage the BPDs worst traits and actively discourage the BPD from seeking treatment.

The DPB May Be Codependent, Addicted, And Have Multiple Mental Illnesses

The BPD is very good at deceiving bystanders, because they appear to have a narcissist’s grandiosity and a sociopaths lack of conscience. In reality the BPD has very low self esteem, tremendous fear of abandonment, extreme sensitivity, and depression, and this drives their obsession with control.  Many of you will have realized that this low self esteem and frantic need to control others is what laymen call “codependency.”  In the BPD, this codependency is often a shopping cart of multiple mental illnesses in the same person.

BPD is generally diagnosed more frequently in women, but many male BPDs may avoid diagnosis by going to prison, committing suicide, or being murdered. BPD is often made more complicated and intense by being present with other conditions, such as depression, bipolar disorder, and substance abuse.  Borderline traits can be present in people that are functioning normally, but they are definitely a risk factor for addiction. The untreated addict on his way to “hitting bottom” is essentially a BPD.

In these cases of multiple mental illnesses,  the BPD may make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. In Junkie, William Burroughs describes a couple characters that seem to be BPDs with speed or heroin habits

Whitey combined the sensitivity of a neurotic with a pyschopath’s readiness for violence.  he was convinced nobody like him, a fact that seemed to cause him a great deal of worry

I noticed another man who was standing there looking at me. waves of hostility as suspicion flowed out from his large brown eyes like some sort of television broadcast.  The effect was almost like a physical impact.

Indeed, a couple times I have been in the next room when a BPD entered the building.  Even when there was not a sound,  it seemed as if a wave of pure malevolence came right through the walls like some sort of microwave energy weapon. Defenses

The BPD’s use of projection as a defense is constant and out of control.  Everyone else is “crazy” and “yelling at them” and “criticizing them” and being “negative.” These are of course their own traits, and they insist that it is everyone around them.  If a BPD is in the home or office, the whole group is likely to be involved in daily debates about who is “nicer.”

In a relationship with a BPD, the two of you may agree that one of you has a mental problem, but you’ll never agree on which one it is.  The BPD is president of the “everyone is crazy but me” club.  Not only do they project all their flaws onto the other person, they will also manipulate the person into the role of the bad guy around the clock (projective identification), and they will “gaslight” there partners (try to convince them they are crazy).

When the BPD says “I’m sensitive” it doesn’t mean they cry at pretty sunsets and sappy movies.  It means they have a hair trigger and propensity towards violence.  The BPD excuses their anger by claiming that they “care too much.” If you sigh the wrong way, it’s “abusive,”  if you taped a “Kathy” cartoon to the refrigerator, that was “abusive” also.  And that’s why they BPD hit you!  It’s your fault, not theirs, because you are the abusive one with your damn “Kathy” cartoon.  Hitting you was justified.

The BPD must frame their criticisms as ad hominem attacks on the other person’s character.  Since the BPD has deep flaws of character and personality they will project those problems onto other people. Politics is also great for BPDs because other people are going to be labeled “Marxists” or “racists” or “baby killers” or “sexists.”  It really doesn’t matter where you are on the political spectrum, the BPD has a grab bags of personalized political attacks.  The BPD claims that their victim is mean to some group of people, and since the BPD doesn’t have any evidence, these attacks are justified by the victims fantasy sins against imaginary people.  

Splitting as a Defense

Splitting is another defense of the BPD. Although  the definition of splitting has evolved over time, it is described as fragmented object relations (intimate relations) and a fragmented ego (the view of the self).

Splitting in object relations  means seeing others as “all good” or “all bad.”  Often relationships start with excessive intimacy with the “all good,” then transition into violent hatred where their lover is now “all bad” and the BPD is back in the role of the victim. The “split” is that the BPD believes two entirely contradictory things and acts as if both things are true.   Of course, this could reflect real events and not BPD splitting, but if it happens repeatedly, the BPD “victim” probably really is as crazy as their supposedly abusive partner, and the “victim” may actually be a serial abuser and stalker.borderline-personality-disorder-to-write-love-on-her-arms-33180128-397-188

The fragmented ego has inconsistent beliefs about oneself. Is the BPD a victim or are they the  enraged avenging vigilante angel of justice?  Is it possible to be both?  Is it possible to be both victim and avenger over and over through the years  while being enraged at both family and strangers? It’s probably a mentally ill idea, but the BPD depends on having  multiple contradictory ideas which are both utterly false.  The BPD  bounces back and forth between these two false self images, which also facilitates projective identification, a defense that is both deeply primitive and astonishingly devious. Those ideas are at least possible in the real world (even though they are false in the case of the BPD), and bystanders are often convinced that the BPD is both victim and avenger.   But at the bottom is a “psychotic nucleus” of things that the BPD doesn’t dare say out loud and can’t stand to have challenged.  This might be something like “Other people are responsible for my emotions, and if I am unhappy it is only because someone has deliberately hurt me every day of my life.”   Challenging this belief is “abusive,” reduces the BPD to incoherent rage, and may result in a physical attack.  Physically running away is also a defense, and challenging the splitting will often cause the BPD to jump into their car (often drunk)  and flee into the night.

Other psychotic traits on which the BPD can be challenged are their rage and sadism as well their belief in punishing people for their bad thoughts. If the BPD pronounces judgment on your thoughts, including the things you never did and never even said, a good response is “If you can read my thoughts, then you can do this from another zip code. Here’s your car keys, now get the fuck out.”

To the observer, splitting looks like an impenetrable wall of contradictory and irrational gibberish.  The BPD can make their incoherent beliefs work to their advantage by turning these beliefs into breathless, tearful accusations.  Because they have contradictory beliefs, the BPD can inflict an endless stream of abuse on anyone around them with this damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don’t, heads-I-win-tails-you-lose strategy.

BPDs Love Authority And Structures They Can Exploit

BPDs are often able to convince other people that the BPD is the real victim, and the BPD will work to divide any group of people and recruit allies.  Their goal is usually to create a “black sheep” for the rest of the group to abuse. Despite this, they are capable of being seductive and ingratiating, and they can successfully work their way into positions of authority where they can use the institutional power in sadistic and destructive ways.  Being ‘right” is important to the BPD personally and professionally, but they are often “right” in ways that are pointless and destructive.

The BPD is often the low level henchman of a narcissistic administrator. The narcissist and the BPD share common personality traits, so even though they have little empathy for others, they understand their common backgrounds.  The BPD can idealize the narcissist, while the narcissist can put down (devalue) the BPD.

911 calls are a favorite of the BPD, and they will always be first to make an official complaint.  If you rent from them or share a house, they will claim there were huge damages.  They will remodel their house and send you the bill.  They will also bill for work that was never done, and simply try to extort money. The BPD will literally stalk someone, then the BPD will claim they are actually the victim. They are often in civil lawsuits, family courts, and probate fights. Probably a significant chunk of the US economy is consumed by the junk legal actions of BPDs.After all, don’t most civil actions feature someone frantically lying their ass off?

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Celebrities With borderline personality disorder

This is actually very tough, because to spot the BPD we have to find people that have sabotaged themselves, often with drugs and alcohol.  And then it’s a question of whether or not they were actually mistakenly self medicating some other problem like bipolar disorder.  But Amy Winehouse, Lindsay Lohan, and Courtney Love call come to mind.  Actually, the best examples may be the rogues gallery of former child stars that completely ruined their lives.  Many of them had no chance to go through normal stages of development as teenagers, so they are stuck as self-destructive adolescents.  indeed, being borderline has been described as “being 14, forever.”

Is Karl Rove a BPD or maybe a mixture of narcissist and BPD?  He certainly has the backround:  A flaming gay father that abandoned his family, mother that committed suicide (which he disputes), growing up as a non-Mormon minority in Utah.  He has made a career of ginning accusations against people.   But he seems to lack a reputation for public rage, abd his flair for associating himself with important people seems to indicate narcissism rather than NPD.

How about George Zimmerman, a cop wannabee with anger management problems who always calls 911? 

Authority figures are surrogate parent figures who serve as stand-ins for the BPDs negligent or abusive birth parents.  Coworkers are the siblings who compete for the parents illusive affections and competitors for the family’s meager resources.  The fact that none of this may be true has no effect on the BPD, who remains locked in a state of child like rage with extremely limited reasoning ability. They will always by crying foul and demanding that authorities intervene on their behalf.

The BPD love rules and loves to accuse others of breaking the rules.  They also like to make up rules that don’t exist, and even if those rules change hour by hour, breaking the rules will bring years of punishment.


The Successful BPD

Professionally, a BPD can do well.  Indeed, how many times have we seen successful, highly motivated people turn out to be shockingly cruel to their families.  This also includes many prominent social activists of both the left and right who are unbelievable shits to their own families. Mitch Snyder helped the DC homeless but abandoned his family and killed himself.  Politically, it doesn’t matter if the BPD is on the left or right.  Politics is merely a way for them to vent their petty authoritarian urges.

In the workplace, the BPD can do well as a manager in any environment where there are rules that encourage the BPD to play “gotcha” as the micromanager.  That’s especially true today, when employee turnover is often considered a good thing.  Likewise the stalk, harass, gather evidence, and accuse style is ideal for the HR department in a company that wants to downsize through “attrition.”

However, the BPD is often a failure as a leader because they are too busy creating office politics and playing gotcha to focus on actually getting stuff done.  But  the BPD might be the classic failure who “falls upward” from failure because they will always “kiss up (to the boss), kick down (at the underlings).”  Above all the BPD shifts the blame to others while claiming to be the savior, and the BPD recruits henchmen that will be alibis for the BPDs tales of self sacrifice and heroism.

Borderline Personality Disorder And Related Personality Disorders  (from the DSM)

BPD usually has components of related personality disorders:

Borderline Personality Disorder -Experience a pervasive pattern of unstable interpersonal relationships and have difficulties with moods and self-image. Impulsiveness is also extremely common. Often have intense episodes of anxiety, depression and irritability lasting from a few hours to several days. May direct anger outward in the form of physical aggression, but may also engage in self-destructive behaviors such as drug abuse, eating disorders or suicidal gestures. These behaviors are often intended to manipulate others. Usually have poor self-identity that leads to overly intense relationships with others. These interactions are generally filled with conflict, and the individual with borderline personality will vacillate between idealizing other people and undervaluing them. Tend to become angry and frustrated when other people fail to meet unrealistic expectations.

Histrionic Personality Disorder-Generally need others to witness their emotional displays in order to gain validation or attention.  Often display exaggerated symptoms of weakness or illness and may use threats of suicide to manipulate others. Also, many suffering from histrionic personality disorder use sexually provocative behaviors to control others or gain attention.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder – An exaggerated sense of one’s own abilities and achievements.  A constant need for attention, affirmation and praise. A belief that he or she is unique or “special” and should only associate with other people of the same status. Persistent fantasies about attaining success and power. Exploiting other people for personal gain. A sense of entitlement and expectation of special treatment. A preoccupation with power or success. Feeling envious of others, or believing that others are envious of him or her.

Antisocial Personality Disorder – Often act out impulsively and fail to consider the consequences of their actions.Display aggressiveness and irritability that often lead to physical assaults. Have difficulty feeling empathy for others.  Display a lack of remorse for damaging behavior.

The various antisocial personality disorders can’t stand to have someone actually understand them. Nobody can be permitted to identify their antisocial actions and the complete separation of the glowing self image versus their  destructive and sadistic actions. Of course, the BPD would want that discussion to be a confrontation where they can play the victim.  But even if this is done with empathy, the antisocial personality type is likely to respond to empathy as if it were attempted rape.  Having empathy for a BPD is probably the best way to eject them from your life.

Are BPDs A Type Of Psychopath?

There’s considerable controversy and infighting about how to compare BPDs to psychopaths.  BPDs tend to lack the psychopath’s carefree confidence,  lack of guilt, and social isolation.  The BPD is guilty (which the project onto others), dependent, and clings desperately to others.  It has been suggested that the true psychopath is born that way, while the BPD is the result of abusive parenting. But it’s also been suggested that the BPD lacks the narcissism of the psychopath.

Psychopathic Personality Inventory: Factors and Subscales
[1] PPI–1: Fearless dominance
Social influence
Fearlessness
Stress immunity
Coldheartedness
Also assertiveness, narcissism, and thrill-seeking.

PPI–2: Impulsive Antisociality
Machiavellian egocentricity
Rebellious nonconformity
Blame externalization
Impulsiveness
Coldheartedness
Also aggressiveness, substance use, antisocial behavior, negative affect, and suicidal ideation.

BPDs Respond To Articles About BPDs

It’s interesting to read articles about BPD where there are comments from BPDs.  Since they are obsessed with what other people think about them, I guess it is no wonder that they would show up in the comments.  Typically, their comments go like this:

YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT – Ok, there’s the BD “appeal to authority” even if someone understands BPDs because they have been shackled to an abusive BPD for decades. Also it’s pretty common for mentally ill people to see themselves as unique and special.

I KNOW MORE THAN YOU – and there we see the BPD narcissism

YOU MUST BE THE CRAZY ONE – Another BPD favorite

BUT I’M SPECIAL AND SUPERIOR – Actually we don’t see as much of that as we would with bipolar people.

I’M THE REAL VICTIM HERE – And isn’t that the essence of the BPD, that in the midst of all the mayhem and pain, and despite the shattered lives they’ve left in their wake, they are the real victim?  Remember, Daddy only drinks because you cry.

YOU JUST HAVE BIAS – you know, sometimes the amount of bias against a specific mental illness corresponds to the body count it leaves.

—————————————————————————-
—————————– Walking Dead Update ————————
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I think Daryl’s older brother Merle Dixon is the BPD of the series. Horribly abused as a child, he ends up in prison. When he is with the group, he is constantly divisive, undermining and pitting people against each other.  He does this even though it might threaten his own survival and that of his brother.  When Merle says “I don’t know why I do the things I do. Never did. I’m a damn mystery to me.” he shows a primitive level of disorganization in his personality.  But he does a feel a bond to his brother, and he avoiding murdering people before the end of the world.

Eventually, he ends up serving the  Governor, who is a two faced narcissistic sociopath.  The Governor wants to be a benevolent leader of Woodberry while secretly indulging in various forms of sadism, including torture and rape (in the graphic novel).

Personalities like this constantly feel the urge to betray their comrades. Merle eventually betrays the Governor by killing members of Woodberry, and the Governor later betrays his group in the same way.  Merle has ambushed and killed a number of innocent people for the Governor, and it seems that he has a sense of guilt and wounded pride over this.  He sacrifices himself in a heroic, defiant death, which is the fantasy of so many mentally ill shooters planning to die “in a blaze of glory.”

The Governor is Machiavellian  when he takes over his new group by ingratiating himself with with the leader then assassinating him.  He is also able to manipulate weaker personalities, He kills a group member who shows a sense of morals because the Governor knows that this person would question his authority.  Then he has a heart to heart with his victim’s brother, and the governor talks about how their fathers used to beat them half to death.  The governor is able to show fake empathy for the BPD henchman.

After he kills the leader and dumps his body in the lake, the brother asks if the group will believe their story about how the leader was killed by zombies.  The Governor says:

People believe what they want to believe. They love a hero.

Again, that is a narcissist’s view of life, but the narcissist is able to bond to the BPDs because of their common emotions and background. .He decides that he’ll kill anyone, and he he justifies that by saying he is doing it to protect his adopted family, whose daughter reminds him of his dead little girl.   They are willing to eliminate anyone because they are freeing up resources for their own family.  A rational creative person would think about growing the pie instead, but the narcissist or BPD probably knows deep in their hearts that they can’t increase productivity.

Reblogging core confidence

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<h1

There are three level of confidence. Today I want to
talk to you about the most important one of the three, core
confidence. You core confidence defines the love you have for
yourself, the belief you have in your core that you are worth
something. It is easy to forget our core confidence when we focus
on looking confident, when you work on your belief systems.

A person with a strong exterior demonstration of
confidence will focus on appearance and mannerisms. They will have
built their confidence from the gym, the surgeries or just by
projecting solid body language. But what happens when this person
gets injured, maybe to the level where they cannot go to the gym
anymore? They will lose their confidence. They lose it because they
lose their identity. They are the person that is renowned for
having the perfect body. When that is taken away, they are
dislodged from the reality they have built for themselves. They
have no confidence to fall back on. A person with the perfect job,
the perfect bank account and they flashy lifestyle has a solid
internal belief of confidence that relies on the life they have.
But when a recession hits, or a movie star no longer gets work, or
a singer loses their voice they lose who they are. The confidence
your lifestyle generates is lost a lot quicker than it is gained.
This is why we hear of celebrities that get depressed or even
suicidal. They lose who they are, they lose the lifestyle they
lived. Finally we have you core belief. A term first coined by
Mathew Hussey, one of the leading confidence coaches in the world.
This is your confidence in yourself, your abilities and you
achievements. This is your own personal growth. Everything from
your skills, talents and traits all the way through to your
personality and who you are as a person. No one can take away who
you are.

Confidence in Yourself as a Person

The most important part of having confidence in the person you is
to love yourself, believe in yourself and be proud of whom you are.
Physically look in your mirror and ask yourself, “Am I the best
person I can be?” “Am I proud of whom I am?” Asking yourself these
questions and honestly asking them will highlight where you think
your own short comings are. Only you can be truly critical of your
choices in life, only you truly know where you haven’t performed to
the best of your ability. Honesty is the key.

Confidence
through Achievements

Generating confidence through the
abilities and talent you learn and by the achievements you have is
the most powerful way to build solid confidence. No one can take
your abilities and achievements away from you. They stay forever.
The confidence you gain from completing a marathon will never
leave. No one can take that achievement away from you, that victory
is yours to keep forever. If you can speak French and you keep it
in your life, no one can unlearn it for you. Your victories,
achievements and personality define you more than how you look and
who you are. Build your core confidence, when you feel confidence
in who you are then you can build your exterior and lifestyle
confidence. Learn to love yourself, everything after that is easy.
 

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The sound of complicated women

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I met several new people through this blog. One of the wonderful people I`ve met, has already left us (the sound of crying across the universe). I`m saddened by this, but I still want to meet and keep contact with others I met through the blog (ElleAshana, rudy, Monty, Jede a«Awax», Jen, David, Judy, Robert, (give up never), Sally May, Rosie (annarosemeeds), «Suzie» and many others). One of the people I really like and appreciate is Monty. We have emailed for a time, and I do feel I found a real friend I`ll probably try to keep contact with for a long time.

My thanks to Monty

I have known Monty for some time now, and have had the pleasure of reading some of his post. I already know the author as an intelligent and creative man. He applies his own thoughts on his psychological knowledge, and the result is an exciting new view of things. He has said I have inspired him in this post, and I hope it`s not the worst of the archetypes presented (I hope I`m the person in Breaking Bad).

I hope you like it as much as me.

FEMALE ARCHETYPES (ARCHETYPES PART 2)

My previous article was about male archetypes, while the article was a little vague with only one real example, it was an important part of what I am currently working on. If you had read the previous article, you would see I am trying to create a new scale to define both male and female archetypes. It is a work in progress so this is where the lack of detail comes from.

The reason why I decided to do this was because I had noticed a big shift (by my standards any way, for most people the difference may not even be noticeable) in the roles played by both males and females over the last few years. This scale was an attempt at creating a system that was more accurate at measuring these differences than the previous well documented archetypes.

zebrIn the last few years, the old archetypes have become tired cliches, the anti-hero and the femme fatale are all overdone. In recent years, thanks to postmodernism, these character traits have become a sort of mix and match in an attempt to create something original.

While the original categories still serve a purpose, and it’s not my intention to challenge these roles. Instead I have tried to create a new system, which makes it easier to see which areas have been overdone, and where something could be different.

This article isn’t so much about explaining my scale, its more about why I found the need to create a different scale to begin with. After a few years of doing this I have found that the more the creator tests these established roles (in a calculated way) the more likely their work is to succeed.

The scale is by no means complete, I am yet to find some more appropriate names for each of these new definitions. In my previous article I describe the male scale, which is almost identical to the female scale

The only difference being that instead of the “father ” scale I would use the “mother” scale. These are more maternal traits or characteristics that are commonly seen in people that are parents, there is no need for the character to actually be a parent. The term fatherly/motherly figure would be the best way of explaining this.

One thing that I have found really interesting while doing this, is using another method which I will explain in detail in a future post, I have been measuring what could be considered female traits in male characters, and vice-versa.

The idea for doing this came about when I started to realize that most male writers struggled to create female roles that didn’t fit in to a set criteria. This isn’t something that I just came up with, there is a a lot of already created information that supports this belief and the reasons behind it.

It seems that there is a simple connection when people write, that certain characteristics can be attributed to males, and other attributes we consider them to be effeminate and therefore attribute them to women. This phenomena relates a lot to my overall research which is the relation of feeling and thoughts.

If I was to describe to you certain personality traits without telling you the gender of this person, you imagination would most likely (not always) either imagine a male or a female based on the traits that I describe.

It seems that we will automatically associate these traits to the different genders accordingly, but in recent years as I have been explaining above there is a need to challenge this perception.

This has actually become a sigh of relief for me, I was growing tired of the lack of female roles that challenged this perception. I believe this problem is not so much attributed to society as it can be attribute to how our mind process information and this infamous relation between thoughts and feelings that I keep on going on about.

This subject of female roles is becoming increasingly popular, as a whole the roles of women in society are being questioned and reconsidered. Every day I read articles about how companies and governments are changing the rules to allow women equal representation, so it stands to reason that this effect will also be noticeable in the media.

Now getting to the subject of my article I am going to draw some attention to some interesting examples of female roles I have seen recently.

Prisoners (2013)

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This film was quite good, and it is reflected in the very high ratings this film is receiving across the board. It’s actually very uncommon for a film to receive a high rating on both Rotten tomatoes and IMDB but it seems that this film did accomplish that.

Generally speaking films that are popular on Rotten tomatoes are films that challenges our perception on just about anything, they may not be masterpieces in a traditional sense, but the defy current standards in some way.

This film seems to be able to accomplish this will being a film aimed at general audiences. In a way I would consider this film to be a great showcase for the scale I use, it’s quite accurate.

If you haven’t seen this film, its best that you don’t read any further as there is a few spoilers in here. If you have already seen it, that is great because you will know exactly what I am talking about.

The first thing I found really interesting was Jake Gylenhaal’s character, Detective Loki. If you did read my previous article about male archetypes you will see that I talked about the character trait that I had nick named “Lucifer” or “God disgruntled son” (again I am working on the names).

What I found interestingly is that in Norse mythology the god Loki which this character is named after would be the equivalent of Lucifer in the christian mythology. But given he isn’t all bad, he would also equally fit under the other end of the spectrum.

A sometimes faithful character to god, and sometimes an opposing force, a sort of love-hate relationship. This is why this character was so interesting to me because he really is a more accurate representation of what this side of the spectrum equates to.

The character is disgruntled in his own way, but faithful and does his job regardless. While I used the character Trevor from the video game series GTA V, this was only an example of the pure negative characteristics, while this character embodies film the positive attributes.

This continued throughout the film, especially with the male father roles, and also the son of Hugh Jackman’s character which was a great representation of the character traits of “God redeeming son” or the “Jesus” spectrum as I call it.

The characters where combinations of multiple traits that using a traditional scale would be quite hard to measure. But using my scale they become they are perfect examples of the emotional spectrums on the scale I developed.

I think for clarification that I should explain once again that the use of the term “God” is not a representation of a supernatural higher being, rather that “God” on my scale is the lead role, which can be either male or female. The characters around the lead role or “God”) then serve as a point of comparison.

Getting back to the film, what caught my attention the most, was the role of the aunt of the accused, Holly Jones played by Melissa Leo. She appears to be your average female supporting role; maternal, caring, and the kind of supporting female role you have come to see in countless films before.

What grab my attention as nothing could have been further from the truth, this role was anything but average. The person who was responsible for kidnapping and killing children was in fact this humble character. She was a true psychopath that even I didn’t see coming until the very end.

Her motives where simple yet equally chilling, she did it to challenge the faith of the parents of the children that she kidnapped. She enjoyed destroying the faith and their belief in God (this film had a lot of religious undertones) and that was her soul motive for doing this.

While this would be a negative representation of a female character, it shows that not only positive positive representations of females are needed. Showing women as evil, and allowing them to be bad role models (while also being able to be maternal) is just as important in destroying the already well established representations.

While it stands to reason that this character was a psychopath, and her motives where nothing more than despicable, the fact that it was so uncommon is what I believe makes this film so popular on original. It suggests that there is a lot of willingness from the viewer (or spectator) to see a change in the roles we have gotten used to seeing in your average Hollywood film.

As an interesting side note the director did part of his studies in a scientific field, I wonder if his experiences in scientific procedures are what gave him the perfect skill set to do this film. He challenged the existing perception in an incremental way.

Putting this aside, the acting in this film was great, the male roles were also exceptional and overall this was a really captivating film putting a lot of not so done ideas forward. This is the only problem with postmodernism, while we have probably seen this before, its about finding what hasn’t been done enough and what is most accurate of our current society.

Some other creations that have really stood out recently, are mostly in television, some of them I have covered already but I will revisit them here.

Skyler White from the show Breaking Bad.

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This character had really caught my attention over the last few years. It seems to be a common thing with AMC shows that the leading females are never very liked (Lori from the walking dead and Mad Men in general). Some feminist even say that the hatred of Skyler white amounts to modern day misogyny.

This character is very interesting because it proves that there is actually a positive to the very entrenched roles that females usually server, even if most people don’t actively realize it.

While it is widely considered a very tired cliche that men protect the women they love, very little thought is given to the idea that women also protect the men they love. It is Skyler Whites questioning of Walts actions that makes her a very important female role.

Skyler does both, and well. On one hand at times she is seen validating Walts role as a male,  which is interesting that even the most sociopathic behavior by a male can be pardoned or justified provided it is validated by a female (especially if she loves him).

But at the same time she has her own perception on his actions, most of the time she doesn’t agree with them. This disagreement is important and a subject that deserves more attention than it receives, Because this is how women protect men. There is something special about the perceived “bitch”-like character traits as describe in male circles.

These characteristics need to be embraced a little more, while Skyler was allowed to be both supportive and opposing of her husbands behavior, which was positive in its own way. The times when she was in opposition, if Walt had of listened, he probably would have survived the show (regardless of the fact he probably would have died from cancer).

I felt that Skyler White was such a  good character because in a lot of ways she was independent, and not subject to the kind of thinking that states men can do anything while women have to be the reserved ones. With that said she still fulfilled her role as the reserved one, and demonstrated the positive characteristics of her very female characteristic, her intuition.

Tara Knowles from Sons of Anarchy.

Sons of Anarchy 1x05 Giving Back

I am probably going to get a lot of mixed opinions about relating anything to do with the show Sons of Anarchy and female archetypes. The truth is that the show is a very male orientated production that is incredibly sexist, there is no point trying to hide that fact.

But in this extreme form of sexism, it actually creates a rare opportunity for a female role to challenge the boundaries. In the show Tara is an educed Doctor, who is able to commit crimes and use violence to her favor, she both validates and opposes her husband delinquent behavior.

She is at times a strong mother, and at other times she boarders on the insane and insecure. Her role isn’t anything to revolutionary, but at the same time there are aspects that really challenge existing perceptions of female roles. Her moral conflicts have become increasingly interesting in the last two seasons.

As a side comment, it interesting that Charlie Hannam who plays Tara Knowles husband in the show was cast to play Christian Gray in the 50 shades of gray film adaption. He eventually pulled out as he became increasingly worried by the attention he was getting from female fans of the book.

It’s just ironic, he acts like such a tough guy that is scared of nothing in the show, but it turns out he is scared of one thing, the female fans of 50 shades of gray.

American Horror Story: Coven.

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The american Horror story series are rapidly becoming one of my favorite shows to watch. Especially the most recent female centered series. It has created an opportunity to challenge a lot of perceptions, while proving that challenging these perceptions creates very intriguing and interesting story line.

Their is no male lead in this series, and the cast is predominantly women, who are essentially witches and the out casts of society. I could probably write an entire article about this series alone and what makes it so important. It’s probably best that you just watch it, and enjoy the horror format translated in to a television series.

Under the Dome.

The plot line of this show is best described as Steven King. It follows a familiar format that you see in a lot of his productions, however the TV production is really well made. The reason why I am drawing attention to this is the female roles, they are actually a little more realistic and fresh when compared to other TV shows.

The lesbian couple who are parents of one of the other female characters was realistic for a change, and not serialized, its something that you don’t see often. A lot of the major roles are played by other women, and the show in a way focuses on the relationships between men and women.

Again this show isn’t to revolutionary, however its a step in a right direction. I am enjoying seeing more and more shows that put female acting talent over looks and go in the opposite direction of objectification, something that is becoming more and more common.

To finish this off, I wanted to talk about a new rating system that has been launched in Sweden recently. This rating system is called the Bechdel rating system, and it rates a film according to 3 guidelines which attempt to distinguish a more feminist films from other not-so feminist films.

The 3 guidelines are:

  • There must be at least two women with names in the film.
  • At least two women must talk to each other at some point.
  • The women must talk to each other about something other than a man.

The problem with this system, the guidelines really don’t add anything to the idea of furthering women roles in films, they cover concepts that could easily be manipulated, and while I feel the idea is a step forward, the implementation of the system is a bit of a fail from the get go.

Using a great example is a film that apparently fails by the this standard, this is the Harry Potter series. The author, who is known for being a feminist, wanted to create a female role (Hermione)  that really challenged these previous standards that had been set by male writers over the last few centuries.

She did this quite well in my opinion, Hermonie didn’t end up with the “Hero” of the story, she was intelligent and often as heroic as her male counterpart. She wasn’t there to validate the male lead, rather she was her own person and respected for her own accomplishments.

However on the scale put forward by the Swedes this series fails and gets a really low rating. Which is why I feel the scale has little perspective on the problem as a whole. These challenges to the perceived norm happen in small increments.

Each one of these films needs to be assessed individually, and compared to other films to see if it is legitimately is a step forward. I believe that it becomes hard for male writers who want to challenge these perceptions, as the truth is only women can put forward the idea of how they wish to be defined.

In order for this to happen we need more and more women creators which is slowly happening.

But I would like to see more work put in to this rating system, the idea of my scale is to help create a more logical and systematic approach to doing this, a more scientific method of measuring these differences and assessing what needs the most work.

I will be writing more on this subject when ever I see any stops forward, and highlighting them on this blog.

I would really appreciate comments from my readers (especially the female readers) of roles that you have seen in the past few years that challenge the norm, and represent women in the way you wish to be represented. This would be a great help in making this scale more accurate

In “TV shows”

The origin of names.
In “Research”

The sound of shocking news

Posted on Updated on


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You can cut all the flowers 
but you cannot keep 
spring from coming

 

Yesterday I showed a video-interview that I found on an excellent blog I really like to visit when I need information about personality disorders  (“Dating a psychopath“) . It was about a famous man in UK (Jimmy Savile), who had many of the traits of a charismatic psychopath.

The following video is footage collected after his death, when the truth came out about him. He had fooled the public for decades. Masked with charisma. Which was, only a mask. He was not only a charismatic sociopath. He was also a paedophile.

Exposure – The Other Side of Jimmy Saville… by couchtripper


Exposure – The Other Side of Jimmy Saville… by couchtripper

Introduction

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I am a 29-year-old girl from Norway where I work as a psychologist. On my free time I love to read, travel and experience new things. I also like taking photos and creative activities like scrapbooking and decoupage. My personality? For those of you who know the BIG 5 personality test, I am high on 20130623-181833.jpgOpenness, Conscientiousness, middle on agreeable and on extroversion/introversion. It basically means that I`m a flexible person, work hard, usually don`t make a fuss and love to be with others, while also needing to be alone to think and calm down. I also want to add that I love the Italian language, my family, Haruki Murakami, good music and my friends. I am VERY emotional, but calm when I have to be. Earlier I had a tendency to put other`s needs first, believing that I wasn`t worthy of any attention myself. Luckily I have grown in heart and mind since then, and learnt that being there for others mean taking care of your own needs first.

This blog is a blend of my personal story (called narrative or the sound of..) topics related to psychology and just random things I find interesting. I work daily as a clinical psychologist, and most of my clients have been abused and neglected in heartbreaking ways. Many of my posts will cover subjects related to trauma and dissociation. I am quite open and honest in my posts, because I believe it might make us psychologist less mysterious.

Most of the psychologist I know are kind, intelligent people. Some with their own stories, but all with a genuine wish to help. In this blog I want to share what I know about overcoming challenges and following your dreams.

IMG_0377Since more and more people have started to read this blog, I unfortunately found it necessary to password protect some of my more personal posts. If you want to read them, feel free to contact me at forfreepsychology@gmail.com. I am also on twitter (@ninjafighter), instagram and Facebook. I also have two other blogs that are dedicated to psychology and the “Kindness project” that I started one year ago, You find them here: Free psychology and The kindness project.

In the last blog I post interviews with different people. I ask them questions about good things they do, and my hope is that their answers will inspire others to do be kind towards others. I have also invited guest bloggers to share their stories on “Free psychology”. They are brilliant writers, so feel to explore their story on this blog. I am always open to invite more bloggers who want to write, so feel free to contact me at any time if you`d like to write about topics relevant for the blog. 

I started my blog three years ago, and it has grown so fast I almost can`t believe it. I am really proud of it, and grateful because I have made new friends and found other blogs that I like.

I want to thank all my readers and offer some encouragement to everyone who suffers or have done so in the past. I have been in the deepest valleys myself, and felt emotional pain so intense that I was afraid of it.

I hope this blog might prove that the fight for a better life is worth it.

Thank you.

The versatile Blogger Award

Posted on


Yesterday I was on a board-game tournament when I wanted to just check my blog, as I have become a real blog-addict lately. I love blogging, since I am fond of writing and find it very calming when I am upset. When I logged in this time, there was a pleasant surprise waiting. One of my readers had included me in the The Versatile Blogger Award (annarosemeeds.wordpress.com). I feel truly honored, since there is so many blogs out there, and I`m not even a native speaker, so I have discovered a lot of really horrible spelling mistakes and grammatical errors afterwards

 

Now, I am excited to pass on this award by nominating fifteen wonderful bloggers.  Please see the rules and more information about the award by visiting The Versatile Blogger.  When you get the award, there are some rules to read through.

 

VBA Rules

 

If you are nominated, you’ve been awarded the Versatile Blogger award.

  •  Thank the person who gave you this award. That’s common courtesy.
  •  Include a link to their blog. That’s also common courtesy — if you can figure out how to do it.
  •  Next, select 15 blogs/bloggers that you’ve recently discovered or follow regularly. ( I would add, pick blogs or bloggers that are excellent!)
  •  Nominate those 15 bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award — you might include a link to this site.
  •  Finally, tell the person who nominated you 7 things about yourself.

Since I got the award, I have to tell 7 things about myself to the person who nominates me.

I am not sure what my blogger-friend would like to know, but I guess I will focus on things I haven`t written before.

1. I am extremly clumsy. This is not an exaggeration, since even my patients have laughed about me in surprise of the degree of my slippery hands.

2. One of my dreams is to see the Taj Mahal

3. I love raspberries

4. I love travelling, and have been in many countries

5. In every country and city I go to, I buy a magnet with the countries name on, and put them on my refrigerator

6. I hate walking on rugs without socks

7. I have phobia against somebody drawing blood out of my body and always look away when people do

My nominees (in random order)

English: The Taj Mahal Česky: Tádž Mahal Autho...
English: The Taj Mahal Česky: Tádž Mahal Author: Amal Mongia. Author’s note: “january 06-early morning- taken with lubitel-expired ektachrome slide film expired-cross processed. it is NOT photoshopped.” Uploaded by Nikkul (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

are:

1. Rose with Thorns. The wonderful girl who nominated me. Thanks so much for the award, and I like your posts too!

2. Ajaytao2010. I have been following this blogger for a long time and can recommend his posts:)

3.  . ashokbhatia

A man from India who has family in Norway, and contacted me through the blog. I am extremly fond of travelling and meeting people from other cultures, and have especially found I like the Indian culture.

4. awax1217 or http://barrywax.wordpress.com/: You are a man I have come to really appreciate. You have given me feedsback I truly appreciate, and I have had the chance to read the first chapter of a really interesting crime novel that I look forward to read more about.

The Versatile Blogger Award
The Versatile Blogger Award (Photo credit: nhighberg)

5. CHRISTOPHUS SALVATORE.

6. KINDNESS BLOG. A blog sharing small happy stories. Love it!

The true story about the author Salvadore. Over these years he went through a process of dissociation and reintegration, which no doubt, led to insights he later used to create the Eos Kernel. Since I am interested in dissociation, this is an interesting blog for me.

6. Sociopath World. One of the most interesting blogs I have encountered so far. It is written by a sociopath, who is very intelligent but honest about it. She deserves respect for spreading information, because this will potentially help others. She has chosen to do good, in spite of her “disorder” and

7.brokenbutbeingrepaired. I simply love this blogger already. She writes about her private pain, which is in itself admirable, but she also writes good! I often sit with tears in my eyes after reading her story. Its brutal and honest.

the daily headache. I know she gets a lot of rewards, but she really deserves it, too. She knows so much, and I have learnt a lot about people, respecting their histories, and how important it is to keep on fighting, even when you feel half-dead. Thank you, Ashana. I hope you find true happiness whereever you go.

9.Random Acts of Kindness. The title sais it all. 

10 DBT Selfhelp. Lot of important information about self-help

11 nerd on the bridge. I like her sci-fi intelligence. Even if my brain can`t always keep up with her native english and language jokes, I still love her the same 🙂

12 About the Weird: This is really a funny and well-written blog. I love his style, his obvious underlying intelligence, and his ability to make the tragic a bit entertainable, so that the reader don`t feel completely overwhelmed and hopeless about the world. Thank you for sharing high-quality content, over and over again 😀

13.Gabriel Lucatero. I have worked together with this blogger, with sucess. He has written and published his own books, and I am really proud of him! Thank you for sharing !

14.A Bipolar Journey Through The Rabbit Hole. A lot of important information and quality posts here!

15. Crazy In The Coconut. I LOVE HER! She publishes so  many important and brilliant posts.  She suffers from DID and I wish I could take the pain away, but she fights like a pro, and she will continue that way for sure! Big hugs

 

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Therapy video from treatment of a woman with Multiple Personality Disorder

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Multiple Personalities

Multiple Personalities

In early times, evil spirits were thought to possess people and make them act in strange and frightening ways. By the 1800′s, the study of this hysteria led some doctors to believe one person could have separately functioning personalities.

 

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When there are several parts of you

 

In this rare research film from the 1920′s, a woman has different personalities who believes they are separate people. One is a male that is not comfortable in women’s clothes. Another is a small child. The affliction has been known by different names, but recognized for centuries. Today it is called multiple personality disorder.

Why have they become tormented and broken into different personalities? What is the childhood pain that lies buried in the unknown depths of their mind? How can they search for the deadly memories that holds the secrets of their paths and the promise of their healing?

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