reblog

The Little Man and the Crowd of Miseries

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The Little Man and the Crowd of Miseries

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Once upon a time, a little man lived in a ramshackle cottage on a weed-choked lot not far from a castle. Every day, the little man opened his door to find a huge crowd waiting. As the door swung open, they all shouted “Huzzah!” Then, one by one, they shared their miseries with him.

The little man was very popular because he was a good listener. He also possessed a great talent for transforming suffering into anger and riling the crowd. Fueling their rage filled him with a sense of power and purpose, which he greatly enjoyed.

The crowd spent the day together roaming the countryside, complaining, swearing, and shouting, always with the little man at the lead. At the end of the day, however, the little man returned home exhausted.

When he looked back upon each day, he realized that they were all the same: nothing accomplished, nothing changed. Many days he felt too tired to fix himself dinner, or he drank himself to sleep and forgot about dinner entirely. His life depressed him, and surprisingly, he felt lonely. After many years of the same routine, his health began to fail leading to frequent headaches, illness, and fatigue.

One morning, the little man awoke with a realization: No one is holding a crossbow to my head or a broadsword to my throat forcing me to do this.

Rather than continue his downward spiral, he instead decided not to open the door. Every so often, he peered through wooden shutters at the crowd gathered outside. They gazed at the door expectantly, talked among themselves, and shrugged their shoulders in confusion.

“Where is he? Why won’t he come out?” After a time, they began to leave, and by noon, everyone was gone. The little man breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, I’m alone.

Slowly, he opened the door to the most beautiful day he could remember. He left his home and strolled through the nearby wood. Bumblebees droned and Peacock butterflies circled lazily in courtship over his head. Celandine, Primrose and Bluebells painted the earth in shades of gold, yellow, and blue at his feet and the repetitive ballad of a Song Thrush whispered in his ears.

He followed a meandering path until it ended near a breathtaking waterfall. A beautiful little woman sat at water’s edge admiring the splendor. The snap of a twig underfoot caused her to turn in his direction. Upon seeing him, she smiled invitingly. Immediately smitten by her charm and good looks, he joined her in reverie.

The little man married the little woman, and they moved into the cottage together. Lush grass and pristine gardens replaced weeds and perfectly groomed thatch sealed the leaking roof. The cottage became one of the loveliest in the kingdom. People came from all around to see it, but most days, the little man and woman were not there—they were busy exploring all the wonders that the world had to offer.

*** We are victims of life not by design, but by choice ***

Image by Ron Adams, Flikr Commons

Escaping the safety net of silence

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Reblogged from Elle:

escaping the safety net of silence

http://media.washtimes.com/media/community/photos/blog/entries/2011/11/27/silence-640_s640x427.jpg?7

Silence was such a helpful skill to master.

To literally not let a word escape from these lips for at least one school year at the ages of 4-5 (don’t know how long it was exactly, only what was written in records that have been accessed). That is not normal, and it certainly wasn’tmanipulative (which is how an educational psychologist described it).

Fearing making a sound; if those little girls had spoken, it would have reinforced their shame for existing. That fear is held by so many of us, even now. “Shut up” “you always sound so stupid” “you never make sense” are just some of the many statements that are repeated, internally pretty much always.

But why should those little girls still be so frozen in silence? Why shouldn’t they cry their tears out loud? Why shouldn’t they tell? Why shouldn’t someone hear them?
Why are we all still so afraid of hearing our own voices? Why are we so afraid of anyone else hearing?

Silence can be safe, it can also be pretty dangerous and we need to stop holding onto silence so tightly.

*just writing this has triggered the “don’t ever tell” monologue.

Thank you for reading.

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Reblogging core confidence

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There are three level of confidence. Today I want to
talk to you about the most important one of the three, core
confidence. You core confidence defines the love you have for
yourself, the belief you have in your core that you are worth
something. It is easy to forget our core confidence when we focus
on looking confident, when you work on your belief systems.

A person with a strong exterior demonstration of
confidence will focus on appearance and mannerisms. They will have
built their confidence from the gym, the surgeries or just by
projecting solid body language. But what happens when this person
gets injured, maybe to the level where they cannot go to the gym
anymore? They will lose their confidence. They lose it because they
lose their identity. They are the person that is renowned for
having the perfect body. When that is taken away, they are
dislodged from the reality they have built for themselves. They
have no confidence to fall back on. A person with the perfect job,
the perfect bank account and they flashy lifestyle has a solid
internal belief of confidence that relies on the life they have.
But when a recession hits, or a movie star no longer gets work, or
a singer loses their voice they lose who they are. The confidence
your lifestyle generates is lost a lot quicker than it is gained.
This is why we hear of celebrities that get depressed or even
suicidal. They lose who they are, they lose the lifestyle they
lived. Finally we have you core belief. A term first coined by
Mathew Hussey, one of the leading confidence coaches in the world.
This is your confidence in yourself, your abilities and you
achievements. This is your own personal growth. Everything from
your skills, talents and traits all the way through to your
personality and who you are as a person. No one can take away who
you are.

Confidence in Yourself as a Person

The most important part of having confidence in the person you is
to love yourself, believe in yourself and be proud of whom you are.
Physically look in your mirror and ask yourself, “Am I the best
person I can be?” “Am I proud of whom I am?” Asking yourself these
questions and honestly asking them will highlight where you think
your own short comings are. Only you can be truly critical of your
choices in life, only you truly know where you haven’t performed to
the best of your ability. Honesty is the key.

Confidence
through Achievements

Generating confidence through the
abilities and talent you learn and by the achievements you have is
the most powerful way to build solid confidence. No one can take
your abilities and achievements away from you. They stay forever.
The confidence you gain from completing a marathon will never
leave. No one can take that achievement away from you, that victory
is yours to keep forever. If you can speak French and you keep it
in your life, no one can unlearn it for you. Your victories,
achievements and personality define you more than how you look and
who you are. Build your core confidence, when you feel confidence
in who you are then you can build your exterior and lifestyle
confidence. Learn to love yourself, everything after that is easy.
 

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The Man Who Planted Trees and The Green Wall of Africa

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Loved to read about people who do good by planting trees. I really like people who just go out there and do things they know are good. Thanks for sharing this, Steven!

 

The Man Who Planted Trees and The Green Wall of Africa.

About dissociation

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A therapist discussing dissociation and also gives encouragement for those affected with it now this eastern. Remember: you’re all butterflies just waiting to transform

Discussing Dissociation

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Hello Everyone,

It’s the Easter weekend — a complicated and conflictual weekend for most dissociative trauma survivors. So many layers of your inside levels will be awakened, aware, involved, wondering, waiting, going, sitting, thinking, watching, feeling, remembering, refusing, believing, fighting, crying, calling, hiding, etc. Its a time of being pulled in dozens of different directions all at once.

Lots of headaches, that’s what that means.
And lots of pain. Ouch, ouch, ouch.

So yes… I am thinking of you all, and wishing peace for you. I know it’s difficult. Really difficult.

The Easter season is typically overloaded with the triggers, external pulls, family complications, and spiritual battles. The inside battle within your system may be raging at full intensity.

As best you can, remember to sit with each other, and learn what you can about the others that you see nearby. What struggles are they having? What thoughts are in…

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