thinking
Let`s change the world: Background
Let`s change the world: Background
in Norway we are on 2 place when it comes to overall happiness. So why don`t we do more for others?
When you think about the world today, its easy to get overwhelmed. We see news every day, where the current themes are war, unemployment, hunger, extreme weather and people dying of different diseases. I am lucky, and live in one of the wealthiest countries on earth, just because we were lucky and had a lot of oil that we could sell to the rest of the world. We have also saved a lot of the money, so that it grows fat and can protect us in the future. We have it all. I remember a friend in United Kingdom (a wonderful man who doesn`t realize it himself) shaking his head because we actually GET paid for studying, and we can study for 8 years without having a severe effect on our economics. He worked from
early morning to late in the evening, and he was lucky, because it is so hard to actually find a job in London. Here this would lead to outrage and news in the papers (in the local news, it was actually top news that one doctor had worked for several years without a proper summer holiday). We are also a country that contributes a lot to the welfare of other countries and we often give of our own money when it comes to a good cause, but more than that, we don`t do. Of course its easy to feel a bit miserable and overwhelmed when you live in luxury while you know that so many people don`t. When we throw away food, because it is a bit too old, while somebody could kill another man for just one bite, our view on ourselves as good human beings, falter. Therefore, we have to construe a reason for not doing more, and here, I think, is where our brains help us.
Heard of cognitive dissonance before? If not, please read this before continuing:Cognitive Dissonance & Self-Justification (htycm.wordpress.com).The basics are: If we do something that don`t fit our view of ourselves, we find an explanation for not doing the “good” thing. For example, if we know smoking is bad for us, but still not quit, it must be because “we know a lot of people who haven`t died from smoking”. That is one of the reasons they include a phone number on cigarettes, so people feel they actually can DO something with the problem, since research show, that when we have the chance to do good, we often do so. Especially if we see others “do the right thing”. Maybe that`s why exercising together with friends, or quitting smoking together with your partner, might be extra motivating. We are often more concerned by what others think about our will to commit, then we are if we break our own mental “standards”.
So, what is the reason that I write about this at all? If we so easily give up, why bother at all? That might be a conclusion, an actually an example of cognitive dissonance. Because something seem too hard, doesn’t mean it’s impossible to change it. We see the effect of one person gathering people who care all the time (but maybe don`t hear to much of it in the news) and if more people started to actually believe in themselves and at least try to do something, I don’t think this necessarily would take a lot of time. Think about how popular earth hour has become. For 1-2 hours the whole world turn of their light, and this small and easy effort done by everyone, helps the environment so much. What if all persons were supposed to at least ONE time during the year, not take the car for work, but a bus/cycle or walk instead, would not everyone want to give? In the oil crisis in -73 people started to talk together so that they had to share cars, thereby decreasing traffic, and even getting more social as an extra bonus (main complaint from a lot of patients I see: They feel lonely and unconnected to th
e world). A lot of people know how influenced our climate gets by pollution, but since we do nothing to change it ourselves, cognitive dissonance sets in (our contribution is just a drop in the sea, anyway). But all these small drops can have an enormous effect! A lot of hotels these days, have some kind of information about saving energy and water; by installing environmental friendly equipment for the shower or putting up a request for guest to use their towel twice, to save water.
C. P. Pierce says it like this:
Smaller transactions have the same effect. Over this past holiday season, a management group in Rhode Island gave its employees money on the express condition that the employees then give it away to someone else in need. The company then asked their employees to share the stories of their charity at a company meeting. Thus does the act of giving away money form a kind of oral history, from giver to recipient and then to the people to whom the story is told. There is a spark of the collective consciousness in that, which hearten not only those people involved in the transaction but those who hear the story and pass it along. There is something like art there.When giving away your money, it helps to think of it as more than bits of paper and scraps of metal. That’s not a $20 bill you’re slipping into the envelope there. It’s a bagful of flour. It’s soup or a blanket or a bottle of medicine. That handful of quarters is a handful of rice. You can even make this art out of raw self-interest. Giving away money can be the most selfish thing you do. With a father and four of his siblings dead from the same disease, I can look at the check I send to the Alzheimer’s Association and see something that is every bit as therapeutic as any new therapy that money may help create. I see new drug trials, and respite care, and a light against enveloping darkness.There is nothing more visceral than cynicism, nothing more brutish than greed. These are reflexes, common and unremarkable, of the undeveloped spirit. But charity in its finest sense is always an act of the creative imagination.So who knows, maybe we will save the world after all.- Cognitive Dissonance & Self-Justification (htycm.wordpress.com)
- How to Ensure You Benefit From Your Failures (alleywatch.com)
- Dealing With Cognitive Dissonance, Yet Again (thespectacledbean.com)
Dealing With Cognitive Dissonance, Yet Again (thespectacledbean.com)
- Cognitive Dissonance (arrasdariuskhaledi.wordpress.com)
Cognitive Dissonance & Self-Justification (htycm.wordpress.com)
- Cognitive Dissonance (arrasdariuskhaledi.wordpress.com)
The lies we tell ourselves (fatcatistification.wordpress.com)
- Cognitive Dissonance (arrasdariuskhaledi.wordpress.com)
Cognitive Dissonance & Self-Justification (htycm.wordpress.com)
- Cognitive Dissonance (arrasdariuskhaledi.wordpress.com)
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- Let us change the world (forfreepsychology.wordpress.com)
How to get things done: Four inspirational tips for motivation
Getting It Done: Even when you don’t feel like it
09 Tuesday Jul 2013
Posted by Judee in Uncategorized
Tags
Brain, happiness, Hope, inspiration, Mental Health, Mirror neuron, Motivation, positive, Psychology, society, Time management
If you’re like me, you experience days when knowing that you have to get things done doesn’t matter at all…you just don’t feel like it! Even with a “to-do list” a mile long and despite the second cup of coffee, there are those times when I can’t crank my engine.
And
if you’re more like me, you probably don’t have too many clients who are okay about you running a bit low on motivation, however. They don’t really care if I feel like finishing their projects or not. They just want them done in the agreed upon time frame and that is that!
I don’t want to just sit here and stare at my computer screen, but for some reason, it seems as if that’s about all I’m getting done. It’s not that I don’t have any motivation I tell myself, but if I’m going to be honest with myself and with you, that is exactly what it is.
So, what’s a girl to do?
The most I can offer up is a short list of some of the things I have found that help me kick-start myself. They may just help you, too.
1. Whistle a happy tune.
No, I’m not suggesting that you dance around the house at 6:00 a.m., but if you wake up and start complaining about how much you don’t want to have to do the things you have to do, you won’t stand a fighting chance. You’ve got to help give yourself the drive to get things done and negative thoughts and feelings do just the opposite.
By presenting your brain with some positive imagery as soon as you get up, you’re fueling your motivational tank. Imagery is unbelievably powerful. Try it. Before you get out of bed, visualize the way you want your day to go. You can imagine yourself checking item by item off your daily “to-do list.” Make your mental pictures as specific as you can and then start your day just the way you imagine.
Research show that mentally imagining that you succeed at something, actually make it more likely that you accomplish what you want. The reason for this is that our mirror-neurons response when thinking about doing something, as well as when we watch somebody else or do it ourselves. For example, watching somebody play the piano, will activate motor areas of the brain in the person who plays, and the one just watch. That is maybe why watching people do good deeds, and looking at violent movies, might be bad for us, because watching actually activates the areas of the brain necessary for callousness, altruism or hurting someone. This is especially so if like the person we watch. Mirror-neurons have been called he basis of civilization,
It can also help to think of yourself accomplishing what you want in the “third perspective (trying to look at the success the way other people would ) would.because this makes us feel life has meaning, and this feeling can in turn affect your motivation.
2. Rub elbows with positive people.
There’s an old expression my father used to say about sleeping with dogs and waking up with fleas. (I’m a die-hard dog lover, so please, don’t think I’m being literal here.)But there is a lot to be said about surrounding yourself with the type of people who have what you want. By watching how motivated people stay motivated, you will increase your chances of staying motivated too. We are creatures of habit and attitudes are contagious. So, the more often we see positive behavior around us, the more likely we are to pick it up.
3. Get into motion.
Another way to say this is “DO IT NOW!” In this case, “it” means something….anything. One of the best antidotes to inactivity is action. So, when you get an idea about what you’d like to do, start working on achieving it.
Inspiration can flow once you start working on a project and you may find momentum you didn’t know you possessed just because you set yourself in motion. Sometimes this occurs from the smallest of actions, so don’t worry about how much you do, just get moving.
4. Eliminate your options.
People almost always choose the path of least resistance and look for things that are most comfortable and easy. Getting things accomplished is no exception. When we convince ourselves that we are in a “do or die” position, most of us try harder to “do”.
This is not about perfection or about having things turn out exactly the way we want. It is about persevering. Having a Plan B in place is 
always smart and can only help make sure we stay in motion.
Everybody’s motivation is different. Not only do different people have different things that motivate them and different levels of motivation, but there are differences in our motivations from time to time. It is not a steadfast thing. So what gets us going one time may not work the next.
In order for goals to be accomplished, we have to work toward them, and the ‘fuel’ that makes that happen is our motivation. We need to know what it is that makes our motivation strong enough to see it through to the finish line and we need to know where to recharge and get that extra motivation when we need it.
If these tips help give you that little extra push that you need, I’d love to hear from you. Let me know which work the best and how you found the experience. I’m hoping to hear all about your fully crossed off list of things to do soon.
About the guest blogger:
I’m a licensed clinical social worker and have worked extensively as a counselor with children, adolescents, couples and families. I combine professional experience in the mental health field along with my love of writing to provide insight into real-life experiences and relationships. I hope my down-to-earth approach to living a happier, more meaningful life is easy to understand and just as easy to start implementing right away for positive results!
Related articles
- HOW TO GET IT DONE: Even when you don’t feel like it (colormywords.wordpress.com)
- Find Your Motivation and Overcome Obstacles (happyhomeoffice.com)
- Increase Motivation (vemmanutritionblog.com)
- Monday’s Motivational Moment (topsspotblog.wordpress.com)
- Motivations (rascoecam.wordpress.com)
- Motivate Me To Study: Motivation Can’t Be Faked (new-moving-meditations.com)
- Mirror Neurons & TV (magicalmegan28.wordpress.com)
Sources:
better at sports by just watching
watching somebody play the piano can make you better
Mirror-neurons: the people we surround ourselves with have an impact on our life
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- What is inspiration and motivation? (nikhilmahajan009.wordpress.com)
- Increase Motivation (vemmanutritionblog.com)
- HOW TO GET IT DONE: Even when you don’t feel like it (colormywords.wordpress.com)
- Monday’s Motivational Moment (topsspotblog.wordpress.com)
- Mirror Neurons (needumbrella.wordpress.com)
- Observational Learning: Defined Through Bandura’s Dolls (criminologyjust.blogspot.com)
Russian delusions
Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, the President of the republic of Kalmykia, made the extraordinary comments on Russian state TV last week, claiming he spent several hours in the company of aliens in 1997.
He said he was relaxing at his Moscow apartment when he heard his balcony door being opened and someone calling him. “I went there and looked. There was a semi-transparent pipe. I went into this pipe and saw people in yellow spacesuits.”
He claims to have communicated with the aliens/humanoids through brain waves. “I was shown around their spaceship,” he said with no apparent sign of irony, adding that the aliens explained that they were collecting samples. “I would probably have not believed this if there had not been three witnesses – these were my driver, a minister and my assistant.”
Andrey Lebedev, a Russian MP, has even demanded that the Kremlin investigate the incident.
Did you say you felt unnormal ?
The sound of letting go
People are afraid of it all. Tiny little creatures crawling on the floor, rooms where space is limited, certain thoughts and triggers evoking them, and not least: Humans. How they smile while holding a dagger behind their back, how you curl yourself up for protections from their harsh words, and how you think about jumping over the edge both in happiness and sorrow.
Pain has always been an anguish for me. When I felt it, I felt it intensely , no matter if it was physical or psychological. I tried all the strategies that I had then, to strangle it: Soothing, thinking, hiding, words that promised another and better life, mechanisms of short-term survival that did their job there and then. It worked, until new Pain knocked on my door.
New days always bring with it something else, whether its pain or joy. Its full of unknown events that always surprise you, its full of twists that`s impossible to predict, and it`s also full of strong emotions, also good ones. They are the champions presenting another reason to free your nerves from their cages, so that they can touch every aspect of it with its tiny, fast fingers.
Today also hide secrets, known only to the special few: The knowledge collected from your personal narrative. Some of the best and the worst, and lot of in-betweens. It’s the kiss you had from that special one, making you dizzy and happy to be alive, it’s the first time you stumbled, but got picked up again by a stranger, gentle and caring. It’s the tears brimming over from disappointment and loss, but thanking you for their release. This pendulum swings back and forth, like a lot of things in life. Its homeostasis, not of temperature or drug-tolerance, but of feelings. It’s the principle of balance that keeps tugging us back in a new direction, never static. Almost like the universe itself. Sometimes the pulling is stronger, and the movement leads to others moving, too. It’s the boomerang coming back, with something new on its surface from where it travelled. The air we breath in is never the same as before, it changes but does it job perfectly, all the same. We humans are even more magnificent. After change, we mostly learn and are even better adapted for emotions yet to arrive. Because they will resurface and try to pull you under water, make you cry for help and struggle with panic. But remember: You won`t drown if you remember to swim the right way, and be calm while you do it.
The Big and bad day.
Some days feel like being a vacuum-cleaner trying to get rid of all the snow, not knowing its not what it seems to be. That feeling when darkness is safer than this world, when the things that gave joy the day before are tinted and horrible.
I had a boyfriend. He made me laugh with my heart opened and tender, loving everything fiercely. When I thought about coming home, resting in his arms, everything could be endured. The beauty was in his every word, it sent chills down my spines and made air unnecessary. I went all miles worth going, without training or help, because the finish line delivered the smile of my life. I longed for it, devoured it and lost it.
He shall know that what I am, right now broken but still strong, came from him. I could be myself, I did not care what the world thought about me because I was fine, everything was fine. I put jealousy, my faithful warder, in his own prison and kept it at bay. I drowned poison seeping though the cracks with infectious care and forgiveness. I learned that to lose control is gaining it, even if I now stand here alone.
I lost this person, who gave me his water necessary for growing. I will love him for that, and true love sometimes involves letting go.
I see you running in the fields. Flowers around you, laughter and joy. I thought it would be me, there by your side, but I tripped and lost my chance.
Narrative of my life: Part 2
Some days just makes you think. Not just any thoughts, like ‘I wonder what dinner should be’, but thoughts of reflection. I’m not always sure if this is good, sometimes it feels like it would have been so much easier if I just cut the conscious part of myself, away for a while.
I have just come from a 2-day course about psychology. At the end of the day it felt too much, sometimes all this talk about anxiety, depression and stress just gets me, even when I am touched to tears by the compassion in certain people. I always feel lucky when I think of how far I’ve come, but eventually the other side of the equation kicks in.
I started on my narrative some days ago, and it still chills me a bit when I ponder why I don’t remember much from my earlier life. What would I be without the pictures, stories and memories that points to how it maybe was? I always get bit stressed when I see movies portraying this: How is it to form your identity from scratch? Like I wrote last time, many times when I think back its with shame. How could I be so self-sentered?
I used to live in the world of books and felt comfortable there. I really lived in the world where the characters were. I remember very little about the books now, it’s in a haze, and its like I never read them at all. In the start of school I loved reading, and I have kept that interest even when we started analyzing books and in my opinion cutting their magic away. It’s like eating a delicious meal and afterwards hearing that what you ate was a combination of something healthy and disgusting. A friend told me, before I went to China, to eat first and ask afterwards if I wanted to keep my sanity. This element was central for my well-being. The songs I learned and thought I understood were just childish miming far away from reality. That’s how you start believing in fairy castles and strangeness. In fact, after hearing some of my favorite songs later, I was kind of disappointed sometimes, it was always much simpler than once thought.
School was okay, for the most time. I was never one of the cool girls, and kept to the two same girls for the 9 years I went there. It’s like that in small places, the structure designs itself, and maybe I ,participated more in creating it than I ever knew. Again, I was the domineering queen. I decided a lot of stuff: that we should form a club where we wrote about the environment, without noticing the weak response I did get. I took the lead, and found it natural. I planned, organized and came with bright ideas. Must probably have been a real pAin, but I was blissfully unaware. I think I was 12 or 13 when I started in the scout group, after some sorry attempts at what we call 4h. I don’t even remember what the letters were for, just that I did not particularly like it. We were ‘forced’ to have meetings, do tasks, and have a party with sketches. I am a bad actress, and will probably never be happy in the limelight. It’s like all my flaws, and I felt I had more than most, suddenly got even more obvious. Like I remember it, response was seldom given at anything I did, no matter how hard I tried. When I think back now, my memories might have been colored by untruth, but now That I know my mother lived in constant depression (she said a black veil hung over her the moment she came home) it’s not completely unlikely. From my mother I learned that happiness should and could be measured in cleanness and how fast you cleaned it. I can remember that is was fun, though, especially when we did things together, like sorting socks.
My scout group gave me all I longed for, and more. I once again came in leader roles, but now in natural way that I thrived in. I can just sum it up: I felt great, just said what I thought, laughed, made up funny songs with my friend, and became the famous story-teller. I also began falling in love at that time. It was sweet and wonderful, and added a flavor that made the ingredients of life irresistible. Kindergarten has all been about playing; the bits of heaven consisted of time in the sandbox and on the swings. Higher, faster, better. The heavens in my teens was made of heart-beats, giggles and my first kiss. It’s not obvious to me why this was so important for me, my parents were not a particularly loving couple, but my mother and I used to watch dramas on the tv all the time, and romance and feelings was the meaning of it all. This I adopted easily, because love was all that is, something I still believe and live by.
There are so many small stories to tell about a life, but I can only choose some, and hope it represents my story in some ways. Sometimes I’m surprised when I talked with old friends and family-members and something new suddenly enters my consciousness. Some weeks ago, at a conference, I at herring, that I normally stay away from. At that time I thought: Why not? As the taste landed on my tastebuds and entered the smelling part of my brain, I memory suddenly came alive. I remembered how my grandfather always ate this, and this was so precious to me. He was an icon for love and care, and to forget our time together, or denying them access, feels like losing valuable possessions. A similar thing actually happened some ours ago. I was sitting in the bus taking me home, with my eyes sleepy and closed, when I suddenly remember the feeling of sitting behind the sofa, looking up. We had a red leather one, and I sat there, feeling small but also protected. When I think about it I’ve been the opposite of claustrophobic; Tiny or dark places attracted me: It was just for me and I owned the space there and then.
As I am Rolling back at fort on memory lade, in a nostalgic pace, I suddenly starting about you: The reader. Maybe it’s confusing to follow my train of thoughts, or even a bit tiring. I want to thank you for sticking to it so far, especially since my grammar probably has some hiccups here and there. I will also make this the natural way to end this part, and will as promised before, continue at a steady pace.
Like always, I appreciate feedback, especially constructive and concrete one like: don’t write so much, or detailed or I especially disliked/liked THAT part. I think I’m quite good at using feedback in a good way, even when it points to things I need to work with, so always feel free to say what you think!
Mirrorgirl 
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