The sound of empty discussions

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We have to choose our government for the next four years

Every fourth year, we have an election in NOrway that will show who shall govern us for the next four years. This years I am not sure what party I shall choose, since I must reverse my thinking to see which party I really DON`T want to govern us. This might seem strange, but the thing is, that we have been led by «The labour party» that focus on equality and a good welfare system. The problem now, is not that we should get even wealthier, I would actually like a party that focus on what I feel is important elecright now: Saving money, and using the money we already have, on environmental research and a new lifestyle concerned about our environment. We should develop ourselves in a direction based on humanitarian values, concerned about the world outside our safe boundaries. We should really try to do something about the dwindling resources and reward those who work for people and their welfare. We don`t need more advanced technology or better defense against war, we need to find ways to teach others conflic-resolutions, how to work together and how to help others. If we don`t, the world will soon be empty of life, because we didn`t take care of our planet. It`s allright for us, who will die anyway, but what about your grandchildren? Do you want that they shall live on gene-modified food? Do people wish for more cities, less nature and an even busier life so that it`s possible to buy a even fancier car? Isn`t it more important with more quality time together with your friends and family? Isn`t that what life is all about? I keep wondering, but the scary thing is that this is not discussed in the political debates. When young people are asked about what they will think about when voting they say: Cheaper alcohol or smoke! Is that our future? Raving teenagers just living for the next drink? And why has the party who wants to give us these short-term pleasures, suddenly become so popular? Where are the debates about how we treat our increasingly more depressed population?

Labour Party (Norway)
Labour Party (Norway) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


Slow haste

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My steps are soaked up by the blend of Norwegian mold and grass. The sun is stretching its arms out, like someone waving from a train window. All these glorious moments: Sleeping under the warm blanket of night, stars pulsing their ancient secrets. Thoughts catching the clear ideas, embedding them into the safety of the balmy, warm evening. One thought shine clearer than all, and that is: “I think I will remember this night forever”.

I did. Flashes. Memory flashes, of glory in the moment, like still water on a summer day. A whale finally breaking the surface for fresh air, the handkerchief you desperately needed.

Burning Bridges (Haste the Day album)
Burning Bridges (Haste the Day album) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I`m staring at the roof, feeling the enormity of time pressing against my chest. Questions arising like the swell of an ocean, bringing with them a whole set of new ones from the deepest seas.              “How wil Il think in five years? Will I even remember that I wondered?” I know the answer to it know. I DID remember that question, and I still do.  Today I live in the moments of joy, still asking myself what I`ll remember or not. I remember steps over mossy ground, right after seeing my lovely friend, her newborn in her arms. She had complete satisfaction glowing from her radiant face. Did the glow flow through the walls, with the wind, into the grass? I ask, because the green color feels so alive, like I was living in its richness. I also remember children`s happiness, and the momentum of the ball before it touches the net. The crisp reality of it, weaved into the next moment that left the last behind. And I know, this will be remembered too. I don`t want to forget another step. This moment, is life. It`s Essence; The odor that lingers on your lover`s skin.

The speed of the rain as it thunders down, grabs my attention before it hits target. I take another step into what was unknown two seconds before. I crash into it with heart and soul, leaving the certainty of the new move in it`s wake.

The sound of my laughter (part two)

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I posted one of my favorite language sketches yesterday after I wrote with lexborgia the other day. Suddenly I found myself seeing on of the other funny videos I`ve always liked, and laughed even know (quite impressing, considering how many times I`ve seen it). In this youtube-interview, one Norwegian comedian called “Truls” interviews Matt Dillon. He has a mission before the interview, and that is to say as many strange things in the interview as possible, like “hitch in the roof” and “fraculation”. Enjoy!


The sound of protection

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“Two monks were washing their bowls in the river when they noticed a scorpion that was drowning. One monk immediately scooped it up and set it upon the bank. In the process he was stung. He went back to washing his bowl and again the scorpion fell in. The monk saved the scorpion and was again stung. The other monk asked him, “Friend, why do you continue to save the scorpion when you know its nature is to sting?”
“Because,” the monk replied, “to save it is my nature.”

Some people ask me: why don’t you forget ? Why do you reach out? Why don’t you move on? Maybe I could say the same: it’s in my nature, to never leave people I really loved

20130106-133805.jpg I sat at home yesterday, feeling the silence, letting it caress my toes and giving my thoughts room to roam. Funny how your face keeps resurfacing then, how I can hear your words in my head and can feel the warmth I had for you. I’m free, I can do what I want, but like Sinead o’connors sings: nothing compares to you. You made me laugh, you made me think and you made me want to change. When I did, you felt safe enough to say goodbye, because without building my walls you didn’t dear leave me, in case it cracked again.

I see your face. It has a half-smile on, that you put on in compassion. You really didn’t want to hurt me, but you had to, also for your own sake. I’m thankful for the bricks you gave me time to build, and I hope this new version of me will reach somebody ready to hold it. You wrote to me: one thing you look up to, is my ability to fight for whom I love, and I know you mean it. It just wasn’t for you, and I respect that.


The sound of letting go

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People are afraid of it all. Tiny little creatures crawling on the floor, rooms where space is limited, certain thoughts and triggers evoking them, and not least: Humans. How they smile while holding a dagger behind their back, how you curl yourself up for protections from their harsh words, and how you think about jumping over the edge both in happiness and sorrow.

Pain has always been an anguish for me. When I felt it, I felt it intensely , no matter if it was physical or psychological. I tried all the strategies that I had then, to strangle it:  Soothing, thinking, hiding, words that promised another and better life, mechanisms of short-term survival that did their job there and then. It worked, until new Pain knocked on my door.

New days always bring with it something else, whether its pain or joy. Its full of unknown events that always surprise you, its full of twists that`s impossible to predict, and it`s also full of strong emotions, also good ones. They are the champions presenting another reason to free your nerves from their cages, so that they can touch every aspect of it with its tiny, fast fingers.

Today also hide secrets, known only to the special few: The knowledge collected from your personal narrative. Some of the best and the worst, and lot of in-betweens. It’s the kiss you had from that special one, making you dizzy and happy to be alive, it’s the first time you stumbled, but got picked up again by a stranger, gentle and caring. It’s the tears brimming  over from disappointment and loss, but thanking you for their release. This pendulum swings back and forth, like a lot of things in life. Its homeostasis, not of temperature or drug-tolerance, but of feelings. It’s the principle of balance that keeps tugging us back in a new direction, never static. Almost like the universe itself. Sometimes the pulling is stronger, and the movement leads to others moving, too. It’s the boomerang coming back, with something new on its surface from where it travelled. The air we breath in is never the same as before, it changes but does it job perfectly, all the same. We humans are even more magnificent. After change, we mostly learn and are even better adapted for emotions yet to arrive. Because they will resurface and try to pull you under water, make you cry for help and struggle with panic. But remember: You won`t drown if you remember to swim the right way, and be calm while you do it.