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The sound of falling apart

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The tea bag

I started drinking tea when I was 19 years old. When I was young, I said “NO!” with a stern voice if somebody asked if I liked it, based on the earl grey school tea students sold for a good cause. I do not exactly remember when I thought I could try again, but it must have been in the period when I decided to explore more of the culinary world.

Some tea-cups later i drank tea with one of my Friends. Our cups were half empty when I exclaimed: Its so annoying that the tea bag always touch my nose when I drink tea! My friend looked and me and told me: You can just take it out! I looked her dumbfounded as an ‘ahaaa’ feeling hit me. I had never thought about doing that, as I was inside my experience with tea drinking was still undeveloped. It made me realize how easy we think inside boxed and need others to get out of them.

In my Office there are lots of shoes in different colors. I Guess many Girls will recognize this lifestyle. When I was in Asia, I bought many of them, but especially one pair of shoes was not walking beside me. I am talking about a green pair. I think it actually was my first green pair, since I rarely explore greenness when I buy something. But I liked those shoes, and put them on immidiately. That day we were going from Cambodia to Vietnam, and had a pitstop in the Mountains. It was beautiful, and we decided to walk up the Mountains to get a proper view of the country. With the green shoes I walked, and it went well. I came up, without much effort, and I even managed to get Down safely. But when I was almost there, my shoes literally fell apart. I Guess they had not glued it properly in Place. I was stressed as I had no other shoes in my immidiate area, and was hopeful when I saw there was a little market Place. I went into it, but I knew I had little time before Our bus left. I asked many, but no shoes could be seen. Then a woman, who didn`t speak English at all, approached me! I could buy her shoes. I asked how much it cost, and she mentioned a sum. Desperate I gave the Money to her, and got myself a New pair of shoes that looked like they had seen better days. I thought they would be okay for now. When I got into the bus, and told the others the price, they explained that I had used a shocking amount of Money. Since my Math skills are very bad, I didn`t realize that I just had given the woman what must be a months salary. A bit dissapoined, but I thought about the Bright sides: She probably needed it more than me. What I didn`t realize, was that I actually had bought the best shoes I ever had tried. Even if they are quite ugly, they are so Nice to walk With. I have used them a lot of times, and they are actually better than my best sports shoes. Who would have guessed? Today I am still surprised at the quality of them: It felt like I was completely wrong about something, and I actually love that feeling. It means I still have something to learn, and that I shouldn`t judge something before I know more about it.

These two stories are examples of being surprised and finding something New where you don`t expect it. Great feeling, isn`t it?

Me, Myself & Trauma

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Do you know that feeling when you just have to write, write and write until you feel calm and normal again?
How it makes your head clearer, and less noisy? How expressing it to yourself or others with speech does not work?2014-03-10 04.37.40
I was never good at expressing myself. I had the tendency to tell a story with thousand associations that made it impossible to follow my points. I tried to nervously knit words together, but failed.
When I wrote, words finally expressed what I wanted to say. It made sense, not only to me, but to others as well. Today I think this has to do with how we need to connect logic with emotions. When I try to say something, while feeling nervous at the same time, nervousness wins, and halts the effortless stream of consciousness.
It is almost like riding a bike; If you suddenly get nervous and start to doubt if you actually remembered how to keep your balance, you might fall. The interesting thing is, I know this from experience ! When I was in Vietnam, I tried to take part in a nice bike tour through beautiful fields. It was the first time I rode a bike in years, so I felt unsteady from the start. This actually led to a comic situation!I managed to drive into a hole on a huge road with many opportunities to avoid it. Why? Because I was nervous about it. I thought: Must avoid a crisis. Must NOT steer into the hole!

There is always light at the end of the tunnel. Just look up, and you will see it
And suddenly: There I was: Tumbling down the hillside together with my bike! The result was bewilderment, laughter and grass in my hair, and it illustrates my point: I must feel calm and them I can express whatever I want.
Driving. When will be get there?
Writing is like water when walking in a desert. Necessary and just what I need.
Life is like dancing while keeping your balance

On my free time I work with "Aktiviteter i Førde"
In my free time I work with “Aktiviteter i Førde”


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My baby. See the blog at for interviews and inspiration
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Stress can be healthy in certain circumstances..

Happy! I live in the most beautiful country, so how could I not be?
This is post number 400. I like the feeling that tickles me, when I think about that. I`ve managed to write a lot, about everything from my work to personal experiences. I`ve reblogged some posts that I needed to share, and even ventured into unknown territories by writing about politics and other subjects were my knowledge is on a hypothetical level.
I love science, but i also love personal stories and the magic of small moments that can`t be researched. Science and the magic of personal experiences, is what makes life exciting. We need some general schemas (science helps with that) but they don`t work if we don`t test  them. What good is knowing that something is bad or wonderful, if you never felt those emotions?
I am so glad I have seen both good and bad, ugly and pretty, and challenged myself by exploring different belief systems.
I love to not know things, even when it scares me.
This was an uncommonly reflective post. Its one of those times where you just have to write and write, without stopping. It`s one of those times when you feel alive and calm at the same time.
This was my post number 400! Hope you enjoyed it.
Thanks to all my followers for reading and commenting. I truly appreciate it.
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